Discharged from the hospital

Monday, 36 hrs after giving birth to my lovely Ammar mummy was discharged home leaving behind my precious baby under the care of staff in NICU

I did not go home straight away,noorwan came to pick me up, we went up for lunch. He chose Nizam,It was a weird feeling, I was there just the day before Ammar was born. I had a sudden craving for their biryani was in the area to pick up sheer curtain that I had ordered from curtain studio

Less than a week.I was there again, this time as a non pregnant lady :) 

Actually when I was there by myself, I had actually started bleeding already

After lunch daddy dropped me back to NICU so I could do his 2.30 feed. The usual routine, feed,a quick cuddle, pump, then I hang around for the next feed which was 5.45pm

I made small chats with few ladies and befriend some, this made me feel better and less bored

I had ordered medela freestyle that morning, checked the tracking number and to my delight, it had arrived in hamilton!! I requested for it to he sent to the depo instead of my home address

Daddy was in chartwell with aliya & aiman buying a teddy for ammar's incubator

I asked him to come and pick us up so we could go to courier post

Once we picked that up, daddy mentioned that aliya's ear is a bit smelly, and he wanted to get abx for it. Poor aliya has had OME with perfusion but we kinda ignore it because she was not in pain. Seeing that we were soo close to SCH where I worked, we dropped by to get a script. Lisa,Bex & Ali were there. Chatted to them abt what had happened etc. Got a script for aliya, did a swab. Went to SCHP to get her ear drops & came back to hosp to feed ammar then we all left

I was a bit emotional that night, being home sans baby, had a good cry of course

The thing that kept me going is a vision of my obstetric pt on wd 55 going home with a still born child in a carseat! They insisted on doing it that way. It was a sad occasion for us. I am grateful that my baby is alive! He is just unable to come home yet

That Night I started my routine of pumping every 3 hrs

.....

Pregnancy hormones syndrome
Sick mummy
Left alone with kiddos
DH's gone fishing - longest fishing trip so far
Feels sooo unappreciated - afterall I am
An independent iron lady
Still has to entertain kids despite feeling like crap
Had a good cry in the shower this morning
Still doesn't feel good
Just have to let it out but how??
Hate feeling this way


#feelingsorryformyself


Missing my support network

#homesick

Testing, updating with iphone

Mood-o-Meter - Upset

:((((((

I am HUNGRY

It's 1.32 am, I couldn't sleep, blaming the mochalatte with double espresso that I had this arvo. Hungry now. My old me would runsack the kitchen. Would be helping myself to a plate of rice with ikan bilis goreng and chilli oil -something that I always have in the cupboard and forever enticing me to a plate (or two) of white steaming rice

But my new me?? Tahan aje la lapar sampai esok pagi. What would greet me tomorrow morning?? Hmm for the last ?? 6-7 months I think, I have been having 2 eggwhites, poached, with 2 piece of toast for breakfast, I even tried that for sahur ok! BUt for sahur I cannot telan lahhh, nasik jugak mauuu...why that combo?? It keep my hunger pangs at bay, no need to eat anythingelse till lunchtime

But working days je laaa, weekend ku sumbat nasi lemak, bihun goreng jugakkkkk

Kriukk kriukk perut ku berbunyi...

Testing testing

Blogger by ipad

motip gambar???

1) nak tayang cermin baru beli petang tadi, tapi x pasang lagi, motip beli cermin panjang??


2) nak menerai blogger app kat iPad, sebabnya pakai android app tu, gambaq kualiti x memberangsangkan lgsg

Jawapan - no 2 laaaaa

Hmm gambaq better, tapi still x sharp

Mid life crisis???

I have tried a few concealers before, mainly in my uni years, last attempt was 2 yrs ago, got succumb into buying thin lizzy, mainly because thanks to k hanim and k jun auckland, I can get them at 1/2 of the retail price, so I thought no harm in trying.
Most of the concealers that I've tried either gave me panda eyes, or simply didn't give the coverage that I am after

Entah macam mana la tetiba terasa gatal nak cuba lagi, I hate hate my dark circles. Did a bit of research, apprently MAC has a lot of colour range and do cater for asian skin, they have a few branches in Auck, so I dragged DH and the kids to JJCM (roti tisu!!!) Plus MAC hunting

Having done my reading beforehand, I was convinced NC35 (colour)would be the one they'd reccommend, so I was surprised when she reccommended NW35 instead, now, I am no expert, but apparently NC has yellow undertone which I have always understand is best for asian skin.NW on the other has has pink undertone which is more suited to caucasian skin. But she said because my dark circle is quite bad (roll yes huhu) the yellow undertone would make it stand up even more. She also said that I only need 'select cover' range .Studio finish would be too thick. I am quite glad I had made the trouble to go to the store, I might have saved some moolah by buying online, buy will buy a completely wrong one!

I was prepared to buy a foundation as well, but ahem ahem, to my delight, she said I don't need one because my skin is good already, a powder will do. Unless I want to go for super made up look, which is not what I am after...so I bought a concealer, powder (mineralize skinfinish natural)  + a lipstik ( lustre viva glam V) .I like that the lipstick gave me that nude, barely there look

DH said muka x nampak jelaga dah bila pakai ni, not sure what he meant by jelaga??? Dark circles la kot???

Lepas ni boleh la slowly try blusher plus eye makeup pulak hihihi, tadi try mascara, but I didn't buy

Midlife crisis?? Buang tabiat kot hihi

Tata for now

Oh dilemma

My gym membership is expiring soon, in a few weeks time to be exact. Not sure if I am going to renew it. I had been going diligently for at least 9 months. Do note the past tense. I have been really slack in the last 2 months though. Initially because of my minor operations, then followed by christmas & new year (gym tutup) can't seem to get my momentum back

I have seen results though.I haven't lost much weight, maybe about 6-7 kgs, BUT I have lost a lot of inches which I am very happy with, so overall I am very please with it.I have gone down from size 14 to 10! Hoyehhh..now how do I maintain it if I decided not to go to the gym anymore???

Going to the gym do take a LOT of my time. Do I enjoy it?? Want an honest answer or not?? Not really lahhhh apa daaaaa, tdo lagi sedap daaaa

Recently I have come accross a lot of other cheap exercise opportunity that combines social factor as well, fitness class at a cost of a gold coin donation ($1-2) weekly badminton session @ $7 a session, walking buddies (FOC) tennis buddies (FOC) I dont know how to play tennis though, LOL

GYm membership will cost me $700+, which is a LOT of money.But I do want to continue doing some strength training though,cardio is easy, can 'try' and start running again, badminton will provide me with the cardio bit, the fitness class is mix of both, but I think I need more -if I do want more muscle bulk

My diet has changed a LOT as well, on a working days especially.  I would cringe at the thought of eating some of the food that I am eating now, esp for lunch at work, being in a health professional world does help a teeny weeny bit. Not when I was working at the hospital though. We get our lunch for free at the hosp, so we stuffed our tray (and face FULL of food hehe) But where I am working now, everyone seems to bring & eat healthy stuff. Weekends are a bit tricky. Can't resist the temptations to cook my favourite food and eat a Little bit more than usual but must enjoy life and have a balance right???

I am thinking of doing some DIY strength training at home. But I need to invest on some equipments.I already have an exercise ball somewhere in the garage, need to hunt for it, already have yoga mat & skippping rope, I would need a set of dumbbells + a step, I reckoned this will cost me at least ?? $130, cheaper than a gym membership though, right???

The thing is, can't even get them cheaper on trademe since everyone is still on the new year's resolution mood..hmmmmmmm...I don't even know what 'weight set' do I need, must consult Laura, our monday fitness class instructor

Tata for now, enough ramblings

Lesson number 2

Woohooo this droid blogger thing worked!  ( hahahahaha, poor me, sooo jakuniss)

So let's try lesson #2, uploading piccas

Hmmm, the quality is not so good lahh...bolehh laaa

Sudden urge to blog again

I've left this blog idle for quite sometime,  ?? Reason. Mainly because I've been browsing with iPad a lot lately, brillliant as it is, I simply don't like typing with the 'tot tet' touch keypad, call me old fashion

Then I came accross iBlogger, an apps for iPhone, for blogspot, then it crosses my mind, there must be a Droid version of it, lo and behold, I am updating my blog using a droid version, I love the keypad on my phone, proper QWERTY, LOVE it!

So hopefully there'll be more updates after this..

Let's try this 1st hehehe

Kitchenaid ohh kitchenaid

Mixer kenwood ku dah sebulan lebih dok kat kedai being repaired, my 2nd kenwood in 4 yrs ok,the 1st on erosak just after setahun lebih sikit pakai, then hantaq repair, depa x bleh repair, depa ganti baru, tapi kena tambah duit, yg ni pulak, masalah yg sama jugak, dah sebulan hantaq repair, x dak khabar berita, well ada khabar, khabarnya depa tak dapat punca lagi, kerosakan sama macam dulu jugak, model yg sama,

sgt sakit hati..kalau aku ni buat jual  kek/roti, logic la jugak dia nak rosak, ni paling hebat pun pakai seminggu sekali, paling dia berkerja keras pun, whip egg whites nak buat chiffon cakes, bukan teruk mana pun, light mixture, pun boleh rosak, sah2 mixer model tu yg bengong

Dulu masa nak beli mmg ingat nak beli kitchenaid, tapi budget x berapa nak ada plus incik suami berkenan hat ni, sebab ada meat grinder, maka isteri solehah dia pun ikut la, bila rosak, dah depa bg duit ganti, rasa sayang pulak nak beli hat lain, kena tambah duit lagi banyak, taoi rosak kali kedua??? I want kitchenaid!!! Tak kira jugak huhuhuhu...

Tgh dok decide on colour, berkenan colour chocolate, not available in NZ la pulak, cinnamon ok jugak kot? nak pi tgk kat auckland hari isnin ni, sebelum tu?? layan angan2 dulu..lallalalalaaa

I know I am serious about losing weight when...

I chose to go to the gym over a massage session!!

Serious weng dah ni..

Going to the gym takes a lot of time, sejam setengah paling koman, nak tukaq baju etc

So to squeeze at least 3 sessions a week require a fair bit of juggling act given our tunggang terbalik work shift

Dah lama x pi massage but When I had the 'free' time, I chose the gym instead!!




Perkembangan positif ni

Disheartened??

Almost!

Since my last post where I lost a mere 3kgs...I haven' lost anymore!!!

NO, I haven't ponteng my gym sessions, been going at least 2x/ week. Maybe I haven't worked hard enough plus been getting quite slack with my food intake

I lost inches though, slightly, x la byk mana..

tapi my life partner said I look more toned, hopefully tu bukan ayt amek hati sebab takut bini dia meroyan x kurus-kurus huhuhuh

Dah lama x blogwalk, sebab byk online dari handphone saja sekarang, skrin kecik, x best blogwalking..bila nak ada blogspot versi mobile ni..

I want ipad (ketinggalan zaman sungguh, org dah berkurun ada hehehehhe)

Tapi macam membazir la pulak nak beli sebab laptop ada sampai 3

Long may it lasts

Alhamdullilah, the scale is finally tipping to the left!

Left shift, woohooo..x sia-sia usaha suci murni ku at the gym

Still a lot to lose, but 3kg is good for a start, hopefully my brand spanking new salter electronic scale is not lying. Siap beli scale tu, I don't even own a scale before hehehhe

1st month dok pi gym tu, weight static, I have to keep reminding  myself that I am building my muscle

Will power to avoid unhealthy food is getting better

Must remind myself this is a lifestyle change, not a quick fit crash diet

I don't think I 'look' any different  yet, but jeans are definitely getting looser :)

Melancholy...

Spent the last hour talking to my mum on the phone and wished I was there by her side

I've been abroad for soo long and rarely get homesick anymore, dah lali and kebal..

But tonight was different

Happy 32th to me..

Alhamdullilah..dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki and dikurniakan rezeki & kesihatan untuk menyambut ulang tahun yg ke 32 tahun ni..kan dah skema ayat tu hehehe..
Nothing unusual today, woke up go to work, balik umah, pesan kat incik husband suh beli kek (tak pesan kot dia x beli, sendiri merana jugak kannn) balik makan kek, then pi makan kat Curry Pot..

But I can't complain, because I got my wish for my birthday present...HTC desire Z hehhehe..tu pun sebab mintak hehhee..

Apa2 pun, alhamdullillah, I am most grateful to Allah untuk rezeki yg dilimpahkan kepada kami, kesihatan, wang ringgit, happines..I don't do enough to deserve this, always worried that one day akan terima ujian yg x mampu kutanggung :(

Gone are the days..

Where I can eat like a horse but not look like an elephant :(

Session 3 at the gym so far,lama mana nak rajin pi tak tau la..for this 2 weeks my programme is aimed at cardio work out only..
10 mins on bike
10 mins on x trainer - seksa nak mampus yg nih!!
10 mins on rowing machine -yg ni patut aim for at least 2000min 10 mins, baru boleh buat setakat 1650m max huhuhuhu
20 mins on threadmill


On the bright sight..pre birthday treat for myself, post gym massage :)
On the not so bright sight, no babysitter, hence, x boleh kuar together gether with dear hubby tgk wayang ka dinner ka uhuk uhuk..

Capek den..

Sementara nak get used to my new routine and things in life..

Pukul 8.30 keluar pi hantaq aiman pi sekolah, then hantaq aliya pi daycare..harini we both x kerja tapi memandangkan our cleaners came at 9am, malas la nak balik rumah, so we decided to go to Te Rapa - shopping area, initial intention nak tukaq baju aliya yg beli kat pumpkin patch.Sampai sana dalam 9 ish, tgk2 Pumpkin Patch pukul 10 baru bukak, so pi la merayau kat lain dulu, tup2 incik hubby ajak breakfast, so makan la dulu. Lepas breakfast baru pi tukaq baju

Dah selesai tukaq baju, gerak pi gym jeng jeng jeng... Incik hubby hantaq, then dia balik umah sat..nak print documents yg nak bawak pi jumpa accountant. Today kat gym hari asessment, decide on my programme etc etc..so for the next 2 weeks, kena la ikut programme yg dia bagi, lepas tu review..hmmm..penat siut..1st time exercise berpeluh hehhe..tapi ok la, so far so good. Haritu waktu visit terjumpa mak my patient waktu kerja paeds dulu, tadi pun dia ada jugak..semangat betui tgk dia...baru aim nak try p 3 kali seminggu, tues, thurs and either sat or sun - tup2 this sat incik hubby kerja, so x dak sapa nak jaga the kids, sunday pulak gym tutup sebab public holiday..hmmm...

Yang tensionnya, work out punya teruk, one session burn calories equivalant to one donut camtu saja..aiyaaa..itu macam nak mampus punya kayuh x trainer, camna nak kurus niiii????

Dah selesai call incik hubby suh dia mai amek..sekali dia bagitau dia terjumpa cleaner and cleaner bagitau depa ter bagi patah my precious vacuum..huwaaaaaaaaa..daku sgt syg itu vacuum, memandangkan gym tu kebetulan sebelah kedai yg beli vacuum, pi la tanya dia ada jual spare part tak, dia kata x dak, tapi dia bg address kedai yg jual spare part..

Waktu ni dah 12.30 ptg, appoinment ngn accountant pukul 1, so gerak pi cari office accountant tu dulu..This year we both are considered as independent contractor, I have to pay my own GST and my  tax. and do my own claims etc..agak menyerabutkan otak, tu yg kena cari accountant..rasanya kami paham 50% saja kot apa yg dia kata muahahhaha..next 2 weeks ada meeting sekali lagi..


Habis appoinment ngn accountant dah pukul 2, pi kedai spare part vacuum tu, then pi cari makan, balik umah semayang, dah nak kena pi amek aiman, dia balik sekolah pukul 3, then rush pi Waterworld sebab swimming lesson pukul 3.30

OTW balik dari swimming lesson aiman kata dia nak bawak marmite + cheese sandwich esok pi sekolah..sah2 ada kawan dia bawak harini, tu yg dia teringin kot, padahal x pernah dia suka marmite kat umah..kat daycare dulu ada la dia makan kot, dahtu dia kata nak bawak cucumber. I was like ?? cucumber, bagus sunnguh la pengaruh org kiwi ni, depa ratah macam tu  saja

So balik pi hantaq incik hubby kat umah, sebab dia nak masuk keja 5.30, pi la supermarket cari marmite, cucumber etc

Then pi amek aliya kat daycare..lepas tu balik berperang ngan budak2 ni kat umah..

Bila dah masuk sekolah ni ada homework nak kena buat huhuhuu..padahal kalau nak compare dgn malaysia, sgt ciput la homework tu..tapi jenuh menguji kesabaran mummy sebab aiman asyik kalut nak tgk tibi!!!

Hot hot chicken shit??

Dunno..I am just desperate..

If so..I'll be $$ poorer for no reason

Already told dear hubby not to berletiaq if this is hot hot chicken shit

Tomorrow is 1st session...

Wish me luck..

New phase in our life..

Starting from today..there will be many new changes in our life

Hari ni Aiman 1st day of school, dah besar dah anak mummy, it's a cliche I know..but how time flies, sekejap saja rasa, dah besar dah Aiman. I don't think he fully understands it yet. Somehow, rasa berat nak lepas dia pi sekolah. Bukan sebab x pernah berpisah, kat daycare lain, kat sekolah he has to be more independent..

Hari Rabu pulak berakhirlah my unofficial cuti, unofficial sebab cuti x bergaji hehhehe..it is time to go back to work and earn some moolahhh..  dah berminggu2 dok berpoya2 sambil menghabiskan duit.  I will be working at the place where I did my registrar year, but this time as their paid contractor, so rasa lain la jugak, my relationship with the practice manager, with board member etc will be different..rasa pelik pulak, thinking that these people will be paying my salary..not DHB

Kena deal with 15 mins apts...hmmm new challenges in life

And tomorrow will be Aliya's 1st day at daycare.Selama ni she was looked after by a sole homebased carer and she has developed a strong relationship with her,I hope she will do fine at daycare


Minggu ni jugak, will mark new career path for dear hubby..his work routine will be different...

Allof us need to find new routine..need to get used to new changes and challenges in our life. May Allah guide us