Why???

Pesakit asia mesti nak bagitau depa kerja besaq, abg sedara sepupu angkat dia doctor, dia dah dok NZ bertahun2, kerja engineer, ada kereta besaq, dok rumah besaq (siap ada patient pernah bawak iklan rumah yg tunjuk harga rumah dia berapa ribu lagi tau!!) yada yada yada..

Tapi pesakit berkulit putih jarang macam tu..infact x pernah aku jumpa lagi yg sibuk dok habaq dia tu sapa..tadi mai patient bawak anak dua, laki dia doctor gigi (gaji banyak weiii!!) clinic sebelah clinic aku..haram dia x bagitau aku pun..nasib baik receptionist yg kebetulan baru2 ni sakit gigi dan terpaksa jumpa mamat tu yg bagitau aku..well not that aku akan bg different treatment..but..

just the difference you see

sebab sebelum depa tu mai, ada lelaki dari cambodia mai bawak bini dia..berlagak ya amat!! Aku tanya bini dia PR ka dak, dia macam bengang..dah bini dia sepatah haram pun tak tau english..bukan aku kalut sangat nak pi report immigration ka hapa..kalau x PR aku nak kena habaq cost scan semua..satgi kata aku x inform pulak..

Byk lagi la ragam2 patients asia ni..

macam org kita jugak la..

kena speaking2 sikit dulu baru org respect, kalau pakai serabai org x pandang, semua org kena panggil by gelaran, datuk la datin la..x habih2 nak menunjuk...

can't we treat people for their personality, respect semua org sama rata..

Sekian syarahan untuk hari ini..

The C word..

CANCER

Dreaded by everybody

I am reading on breast cancer tonight..It brought back to me the memory of my autie who died of breast cancer last year. I happened to be in malaysia during her final months and when she died, it was sad. What saddened me most was a few weeks before she died,she told my mum (her SIL) that their life had just started to get better, and now this happened. They were quite poor, she had 6 children so had to do without a lot of things..now the children are older, her life was much better..she didn't get to enjoy it for long..she was only in her mid fifties. Being the traditional kampung folks, they refused radiotherapy. Her husband took her home..she died within a few weeks of coming home..no palliative, no pain relief..

My 1st proper encounter with cancer was during my very 1st job as an intern.

I remembered very well that this makcik was admitted under us for investigation of jaundice. Her liver function tests were abnormal. Her abdo ultrasound showed that she had growth in her liver. But only biopsy can determined the nature of it. Unfortunately her INR was quite high and the radiologist simply wouldn't touch her because she could bleed on table.

I still remember where her bed was, I had to bleed her daily, she was oedematous, her veins were no where to be seen..everyday we would chat as I looked for her veins..hoping, praying that her INR would drop below 1.5 so she could have the biopsy

I think her INR didn't come down in the end but the radiologist eventually agreed to perform the biopsy, we gave her vit K.

The biopsy confirmed the dreaded diagnosis..liver cancer

She deteriorated very rapidly..I still remember the room that she was moved to during her final days..I would visit her at least once a day whener I go past the room eventhough I know she was too delirious to recognise me..


She died just before christmas..she had less than 3 months from her 1st presentation..


Dear hubby is traning to be a radiation oncologist..so he sees cancer patients everyday and will bring home lots of stories..he was oncall today, had to tell a patient he would probably die tonight..he recieved a call about 1/2 hr ago from the nurses..he's dead..

The C word..

Have we met before??

Semalam ada sorang makcik ni mai clinic jumpa aku..

Normally I am super terrible with faces..we see soooo many people..

1st time when I greet that makcik kat reception rasa macam pernah jumpa..tanya dia dia kata x kenal..ok takpa..

borak2 bla bla tanya masalah dia etc etc..then tanya la dia kerja apa..dia kata ternak lebah..

Dingg!! Dia la makcik yg aku pi rumah beli HONEY baru2 ni..

What a small world..mmg x sangka..sebab rumah dia must be about 1/2 hr to 45mins to my practice..

Next time kena bg discount la bila pi beli honey ya makcik heheh..

Lemsip ohh lemsip..

I am very sceptical about all this cold/flu remedies..for me it's all about marketing ploy to get people to spend more money for unnecessary medicines..




Tapi hari ni desperate..dulu2 kalau sakit, x apala jugak, kerja kat hosp, ada sick leave banyak..paid sick leave..starting from next year I'll be self-employed, sakit>> tak kerja = x dak gaji..woooo..x best la kan.., unless I decided to be a salaried GP la next year..tgk la macam mana

So this morning, my mission was to buy some remedies for symptomatic relief..Mula2 sangatla malas + x larat nak kuaq umah..demam la kunun kan..tapi incik husband suh bini dia yang demam ni pi hantaq DVD kat library yg dah 2-3 hari overdue..dah alang2 keluaq tu..

After pi hantaq DVD,

Mula2 pi Te Khowai..nak cari active manuka honey..nani pernah cerita dia beli kat satu tempat ni, check2 online, tgk address Te Khowai..okla..igtkan Te Khowai Rd, x la jauh dari The Base, dulu selalu pi rumah patients kat situ..sekali..tempat jual honey tu kat Te Khowai betui nun..pusing punya pusing, sampai la jugak akhirnya..ALhamdullilah..dapat la honey sebotoi besaq..1kg terus haku beli..ambik!



Dah tu, nak balik singgah pulak The Base, nak pi Warehouse, cari Lemsip + lozenges + tissue

I decided to try Lemsip...Pipah my friend kat UK dulu, swears on this. In fact sampai dah balik malaysia pun she still thinks lemsip is the best?? Moi?? Dulu2 aku x pernah beli pun lemsip, satu aku x percaya that it works..dua..mahal laaa... tadi aku beli $14.99 for 10 sachets..kira mahal la for just paracetamol kan kan?? Tapi aku beli jugak sebab selain paracetamol 1g, dia ada phenylephrine which is a decongestant..dalam2 banyak jenis decongestant yg ada, yg ni strength paling kuat for the lowest price..ohh dia ada guaiphenesin, kunun2 bagus untuk chesty cough, tapi batu aku more on the dry cough..tibai sajalah..

Aku dah try 1 sach...rasa?? sangat bluekkk...menyesal x ambik yg capsules..ingatkan ambik yg drinks lagi rasa feeling2 minum lemsip >> dan lagi tu dalam demam2 ni hahhaha..

ini rupa kotak dia

Yang lain2 tu beli la lozenges, sebab esok ada Seminar one whole day, x mo ponteng kalau boleh sebab I usually learn a lot from these seminars. Lozenges ni buat bekal supaya x batuk terkokek kokek kacau org lain..ni ha hasil tangkapan kat Warehouse tadi


Ohh beli gak tissue sekotak..dah abis sekotak dah sejak demam ni..beli la yg special sikit tadi..aloe vera + eucalyptus konon..idung dah melecet dah ni..






Lepas tu tadi..baru perasan macam2 jenis panadol ada jual..panadol osteo la..apa la..harga mahal2 pulak tu..bila baca ingredients x dak apa yg special pun..jahat betui depa ni dok tipu org..

Lemsip mujarab ka dak?? entahla..baru minum 10 mins ago..

Demam mode..

Started with BATUK , sekarang batuk makin menjadi2, plus sore throat and runny nose..bermulalah another season of viral infection..tisu nak abih dah sekotak, hidung dah sakit2 dek sebab asek dok hembus

Ohh dear..sejak dok NZ ni asal winter saja mesti sakit, x winter pun sakit jugak..heran betul..in the space of less than a year, dah 3 kali demam teruk..mula2 time RAYA HAJI , then about 3-4 months ago, time tu buat psych..each time demam, makan seminggu jugak nak baik..

Ni rasa macam esok x boleh nak pi kerja saja ni..Dr lagi sakit dari patients..

Why did you BUY me?

We had guests for lunch today. Hubby's workmates. One of them is Nicola, she just completed her exams and is now a consultant. After thay had left, I asked hubby, how old is Nicola, he said 38. I know her pretty well. So I said, hmm..she probably won't be having any kids then. She has no partner currently. Hearing this conversation, Aiman asked me..

A-mummy why does she not have any kids?

M- Some people don't want kids

A- Why??

M- Not sure what to say, but thought it might be a good idea to say something along this line--because kids like you make a lot of mess, don't listen to their parents yada yada (with the intention to get him to not make the mess, listen to me etc etc)

A- Why do you BUY me then?? Why don't you let other people BUY me??

M- Speechless..sedih pun ada..x tau nak jawab apa..I said, I didn't buy you darling, I gave birth to you..

A- What is birth??

M- Scratches her head..

Cough..cough..cough

I've taken more codeine that I would like too and I am soo not looking forward to the side effects..dah la pemalas minum ayaq..huhhu..but that stupid pholcodine linctus just doesn't do anything..not even a placebo effect. Buat habih duit ada la..But Alhamdullillah, this is nothing compared to what some other people are going through at the moment

Pukul satu tiga puluh lapan pagi..

It's 1.38am. I am wide awake. Body is tired but mind is racing. I think it's the mocchachino that I drank at Lollipop Playland earlier this afternoon. I normally don't take caffeinated drink after 6pm for this very reason..but it was 5pm and I only drank 1/2 a cup!! The rest kena pow by Aliya and Aiman. Sigh..looks like I have to avoid caffein after 4 maybe from now on..

Guess who's going to be a walking zombie tomorrow..

Sleep hygiene ohh sleep hygiene..(ohh that reminded me of my audit yg x siap2 lagi tu)

Home is where the heart is..

Where is my heart? Has my heart been split into two?

I was at a birthday party today. Sean's 5th birthday. Kawan Aiman. Got talking to his grandmother.

She asked me whether I have any family here, I said no.

Then we got talking about my parents, I was explaining to her how my mum misses the children so much,I could feel it each time we talked on the phone. I feel very guilty for depriving her off the children and vice versa. But she couldn't visit for long because my dad was bored out of his mind each time he visited us. No friends, different culture etc etc..and I said 'back home' , referring my DAD and 'home' being his 'home' country.

Now, I haven't used that term for myself in a long time..I hadn't realised that.I used to in the past..now I just said 'malaysia' not 'home'. What has happened? Do I love malaysia less now? I don't think so. I guess I've been abroad for so long now, I just feel as comfortable here as I am back in Malaysia.So both are 'home' now

Auntie Kamariah was right..she once told me and Ezlin, the longer you stay abroad, the harder it is to go back for good and both me and Ezlin are still abroad.Of course she was talking from her own experience. I keep thinking about her lately, I haven't been in touch with her since I left Aberdeen. Must give her a ring..