Senyum sikit

Hmm tiap kali bukak belog sebab nak blogwalking ke my bloglist..asyikla nampak perkatan depressed from my prev entry tu..

Reflecting my mood lately..stress!!

Weekend baru ni satu habuk kerja pun x buat..

Hari sabtu ptg bawak aiman pi umah tok Aaron, kawan dia kat daycare..mula2 malas nak pi,apa haku nak borak ngn mak pak dia, sure buhsan gila..borak2 ngn omputih ni nak borak apa la sgt kan..dahla at the same time geng2 malay ladies gather kat umah k asna, buat coklat..tapi since dah janji dari 2-3 hari sebelum lagi nak pi umah Aaron, x baik la mungkir janji kan.., nasib baik ok..the kids enjoyed playing

Balik dah petang..makan, bg depa mandi n tidur

malam tu tgk movie, x berapa igt tajuk..somtehing like thongs snogging etc etc..cerita pasai teenagers..after that tgk cerita it's complicated plak..cerita ni meleret2 sikit, dah la waktu tgk tu dah 12lebih..jenuh tahan mata he3

Esok paginya pi minum kopi kat pumice with k nim , rina, anne,hanna, azila and their spouses + kids..lepas tu dah alang2 kat Te Rapa, singgah la furniture shop..hajat hati nak cari dining table. Meja yg ada la ni kecik..4 seater, nak cari 6 seater at least..tapi kami dua amat malas nak ronda kedai furniture bawak budak dua org ni..plus konon2 nak beli yg solid wood la apa la..kena himpun duit la...bila p semalam, it reminded me why sampai la kami x dak proper dining table, sangat la seksa nak pi ngn depa dua ni..aiman dah ok, dengar kata, aliya la..takut dia bg pecah ornaments2 yg org buat display tu..

selepas tu pi mitre 10 sat, beli painters tape, bukan nak cat dinding pun, nak guna untuk label stuff dalam freezer, I have a huge freezer, 520 litre kot rasanya, so byk la benda dalam tu, kalau x lable properly, selalu tersilap defrost benda, paling selalu tertukar>> schnitzel dgn steak, sebab dua2 ni..bila dah beku, rupa nampak sama..tension la jugak..sebab dok elok2 ada bahan untuk steak, tiba kena tukaq menu makan schnitzel at the last minute..kan haru tu..

Depressed

Feeling really low for the past few days
Didn't feel recharged on monday morning..

Low in mood
Not tearful
A bit forgetful today
Appetite still ok
Disturbed sleep thanks to the two littlies..

Yest I woke up with sore shoulders + neck. Has been like that for a few days, but yest I couldn't even concentrate at work.Went for a massage and my back and neck are sorted now..

I know what I need for the soul..but I am damn too busy for that...and I am doing Anglesea tonight :( and have study meeting tomorrow night..

I need a break!

Dilemma of a working mum..

Lately aiman macam x semangat nak pi daycare..

LAst week x pi 2 hari sebab konon x sihat

Hari Rabu, nampak macam x sihat,apyrexial though. So daddy ambik sick leave. But daddy said he was fine.Main macam biasa etc. He promised to go to daycare on Thurs and he went

On Friday, he woke up, nangis2 claimed that he wasn't well. Vomitted on my bed, checked his temp 38C, so I thought fine, if I sent him anyway kalau dia buat monyok2 at daycare, they will send him home anyway, lagi leceh,harder for me to cancel my clinic. At this time daddy dah selamat on his way to Tauranga for his peripheral clinic. I rang my practice manager, tgk2 dia pun cuti sakit..spoke to the receptionist, Chrissy, she said she can easily divert my patients to other GPs..alhamdulillah..so I stayed at home with both of them. x hantaq aliya sebab malas nak pi umah Janifal..

Weekend- happy la both of us x kerja..

This morning, I dropped both daddy and him at daycare.Just got a text msg from daddy saying that Aiman macam x seronok, sayu saja muka..last Mon pun macam tu, but I thought he was unwell, sebab weekend haritu time hari Ahad, he had temperature

Lately Aiman x enjoy sangat pi sekolah..dulu2 Aiman geng dgn Riley, Tuplu, Anay, Yash Sean and Ashton..but depa2 ni older than him. Apart from Yash..kat NZ ni, you starts school as soon as you turns 5, bukan macam kat malaysia where semua orang start serentak..

So geng2 dia ni dah start sekolah..Yash pulak, mak dia tukaq pi public kindy sebab mak dia cuti bersalin, so nak jimat duit sikit..Ashton recently started school, tinggal la Aiman sorang of the geng tu..

La ni dia dah x dak geng2 dia, dia macam x semangat la.. x sangka sungguh budak2 pun ada preference nak kawan dgn siapa etc..

Pagi tadi pun dia x dak mood bila gerak dia..sebab dia tau kena pi sekolah..

Ohh lagi satu..in the last month or two, 2 of his teachers, Ange and Robyn pindah tukar kerja kat tempat lain..rasanya ni pun faktor penyumbang kepada ketidak happy-an aiman kat daycare..kalau depa ada mungkin dia ok sikit

I really don't know what to do. Takkan nak tukar pi daycare lain? Bulan 2 tahun depan Aiman dah nak masuk sekolah, so kalau pindah, less than a year. Nak hantar kat Janifal, he will be bored stiff kat sana..Tapi kesian la kalau he's not happy.. I don't know what to do..sob sob..

Aiman ni sensitive sikit..so things like this will effect him dearly..

Belajar dulu..belajar sekarang..

Dulu2 zaman undergrad, time x dak anak..boleh la nak aim study 4 hrs/day..



Sekarang bila dah ada anak, tanggungjawab sudah bertambah, nak dapat 1/2 hr quality study time pun payah..semua nak kena buat time anak2 tidur, by the time they're asleep, I am mentally and physically exhausted



Weekend dulu2, guna study plus berlagha-lagha an..sekarang ni, nak mencelah study mmg kena azam sangat tinggi..

Trying my very best to write up my audit..it's 11.11 pm and I am sleepy and tired. Can't even force my brain to work.Dulu2 I won't mind staying up late because I know I can rest the next day, but now..with little kids, I know that I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow..

I don't study when the kids are awake, dahla weekdays kerja, hari cuti pulak mummy mengadap buku..kesian kat depa..BUT..bila nak study niiiiii..hu3..kerja rumah lagi..
I love cooking but it's becoming such a chore now..takes soo much time

Jack of all trades..

Master of none..

That's what GPs are..

BUT I don't like musculoskeletal problems..huwaaaaaaa...........

MSS MSS go away..don't ever come back my way..hangpa pi la jumpa org lain weiiii!!

Why???

Pesakit asia mesti nak bagitau depa kerja besaq, abg sedara sepupu angkat dia doctor, dia dah dok NZ bertahun2, kerja engineer, ada kereta besaq, dok rumah besaq (siap ada patient pernah bawak iklan rumah yg tunjuk harga rumah dia berapa ribu lagi tau!!) yada yada yada..

Tapi pesakit berkulit putih jarang macam tu..infact x pernah aku jumpa lagi yg sibuk dok habaq dia tu sapa..tadi mai patient bawak anak dua, laki dia doctor gigi (gaji banyak weiii!!) clinic sebelah clinic aku..haram dia x bagitau aku pun..nasib baik receptionist yg kebetulan baru2 ni sakit gigi dan terpaksa jumpa mamat tu yg bagitau aku..well not that aku akan bg different treatment..but..

just the difference you see

sebab sebelum depa tu mai, ada lelaki dari cambodia mai bawak bini dia..berlagak ya amat!! Aku tanya bini dia PR ka dak, dia macam bengang..dah bini dia sepatah haram pun tak tau english..bukan aku kalut sangat nak pi report immigration ka hapa..kalau x PR aku nak kena habaq cost scan semua..satgi kata aku x inform pulak..

Byk lagi la ragam2 patients asia ni..

macam org kita jugak la..

kena speaking2 sikit dulu baru org respect, kalau pakai serabai org x pandang, semua org kena panggil by gelaran, datuk la datin la..x habih2 nak menunjuk...

can't we treat people for their personality, respect semua org sama rata..

Sekian syarahan untuk hari ini..

The C word..

CANCER

Dreaded by everybody

I am reading on breast cancer tonight..It brought back to me the memory of my autie who died of breast cancer last year. I happened to be in malaysia during her final months and when she died, it was sad. What saddened me most was a few weeks before she died,she told my mum (her SIL) that their life had just started to get better, and now this happened. They were quite poor, she had 6 children so had to do without a lot of things..now the children are older, her life was much better..she didn't get to enjoy it for long..she was only in her mid fifties. Being the traditional kampung folks, they refused radiotherapy. Her husband took her home..she died within a few weeks of coming home..no palliative, no pain relief..

My 1st proper encounter with cancer was during my very 1st job as an intern.

I remembered very well that this makcik was admitted under us for investigation of jaundice. Her liver function tests were abnormal. Her abdo ultrasound showed that she had growth in her liver. But only biopsy can determined the nature of it. Unfortunately her INR was quite high and the radiologist simply wouldn't touch her because she could bleed on table.

I still remember where her bed was, I had to bleed her daily, she was oedematous, her veins were no where to be seen..everyday we would chat as I looked for her veins..hoping, praying that her INR would drop below 1.5 so she could have the biopsy

I think her INR didn't come down in the end but the radiologist eventually agreed to perform the biopsy, we gave her vit K.

The biopsy confirmed the dreaded diagnosis..liver cancer

She deteriorated very rapidly..I still remember the room that she was moved to during her final days..I would visit her at least once a day whener I go past the room eventhough I know she was too delirious to recognise me..


She died just before christmas..she had less than 3 months from her 1st presentation..


Dear hubby is traning to be a radiation oncologist..so he sees cancer patients everyday and will bring home lots of stories..he was oncall today, had to tell a patient he would probably die tonight..he recieved a call about 1/2 hr ago from the nurses..he's dead..

The C word..

Have we met before??

Semalam ada sorang makcik ni mai clinic jumpa aku..

Normally I am super terrible with faces..we see soooo many people..

1st time when I greet that makcik kat reception rasa macam pernah jumpa..tanya dia dia kata x kenal..ok takpa..

borak2 bla bla tanya masalah dia etc etc..then tanya la dia kerja apa..dia kata ternak lebah..

Dingg!! Dia la makcik yg aku pi rumah beli HONEY baru2 ni..

What a small world..mmg x sangka..sebab rumah dia must be about 1/2 hr to 45mins to my practice..

Next time kena bg discount la bila pi beli honey ya makcik heheh..

Lemsip ohh lemsip..

I am very sceptical about all this cold/flu remedies..for me it's all about marketing ploy to get people to spend more money for unnecessary medicines..




Tapi hari ni desperate..dulu2 kalau sakit, x apala jugak, kerja kat hosp, ada sick leave banyak..paid sick leave..starting from next year I'll be self-employed, sakit>> tak kerja = x dak gaji..woooo..x best la kan.., unless I decided to be a salaried GP la next year..tgk la macam mana

So this morning, my mission was to buy some remedies for symptomatic relief..Mula2 sangatla malas + x larat nak kuaq umah..demam la kunun kan..tapi incik husband suh bini dia yang demam ni pi hantaq DVD kat library yg dah 2-3 hari overdue..dah alang2 keluaq tu..

After pi hantaq DVD,

Mula2 pi Te Khowai..nak cari active manuka honey..nani pernah cerita dia beli kat satu tempat ni, check2 online, tgk address Te Khowai..okla..igtkan Te Khowai Rd, x la jauh dari The Base, dulu selalu pi rumah patients kat situ..sekali..tempat jual honey tu kat Te Khowai betui nun..pusing punya pusing, sampai la jugak akhirnya..ALhamdullilah..dapat la honey sebotoi besaq..1kg terus haku beli..ambik!



Dah tu, nak balik singgah pulak The Base, nak pi Warehouse, cari Lemsip + lozenges + tissue

I decided to try Lemsip...Pipah my friend kat UK dulu, swears on this. In fact sampai dah balik malaysia pun she still thinks lemsip is the best?? Moi?? Dulu2 aku x pernah beli pun lemsip, satu aku x percaya that it works..dua..mahal laaa... tadi aku beli $14.99 for 10 sachets..kira mahal la for just paracetamol kan kan?? Tapi aku beli jugak sebab selain paracetamol 1g, dia ada phenylephrine which is a decongestant..dalam2 banyak jenis decongestant yg ada, yg ni strength paling kuat for the lowest price..ohh dia ada guaiphenesin, kunun2 bagus untuk chesty cough, tapi batu aku more on the dry cough..tibai sajalah..

Aku dah try 1 sach...rasa?? sangat bluekkk...menyesal x ambik yg capsules..ingatkan ambik yg drinks lagi rasa feeling2 minum lemsip >> dan lagi tu dalam demam2 ni hahhaha..

ini rupa kotak dia

Yang lain2 tu beli la lozenges, sebab esok ada Seminar one whole day, x mo ponteng kalau boleh sebab I usually learn a lot from these seminars. Lozenges ni buat bekal supaya x batuk terkokek kokek kacau org lain..ni ha hasil tangkapan kat Warehouse tadi


Ohh beli gak tissue sekotak..dah abis sekotak dah sejak demam ni..beli la yg special sikit tadi..aloe vera + eucalyptus konon..idung dah melecet dah ni..






Lepas tu tadi..baru perasan macam2 jenis panadol ada jual..panadol osteo la..apa la..harga mahal2 pulak tu..bila baca ingredients x dak apa yg special pun..jahat betui depa ni dok tipu org..

Lemsip mujarab ka dak?? entahla..baru minum 10 mins ago..