Is he??

Unwell??

Tadi tgh chat dgn Neri kot FB, syok2 chat sebab lama x chat, makan tahun la jugak



tiba2 aiman nangis..rupanya dia muntah..

Adoila..dear hubby said kalau aiman demam esok, dia x boleh cuti, sebab depa la ni x cukup org..

Esok is my teaching day, topic tomorrow is Adolescent. I don't want to miss it if possible..

Hopefully esok Aiman ok, kalau tak, terpaksala mummy ponteng teaching :(

My heart breaks..

Each time I dropped Aiman at daycare

Semalam mangkit pagi dia tanya daddy, Can I stay at home today? I thought it was monday blues..
Bila pi hantaq dia macam x dak mood

But pagi tadi pun x berapa nak mau pi

Dah byk kali tanya bila dia boleh pi big school

I feel terribly guilty..

My priority have changed so much, dulu, my aim was to become a specialist, nak jadi gynae or paediatrician, ramai org tanya awat buat GP, awat x ambik benda lain..

I want too, but I will also have to sacrifice a lot of family time, these specialties are more 'demanding' and less flexible, kena buat calls, nights etc..yes, I will have higher earning potentials..but I want more time for my kids when they still need me..nanti dah besar,dah independent, dah x heran dah kat mummy, waktu tu la baru mummy habis study, baru ada masa untuk depa

I don't understand why a certain family member frowned upon at me when I took long unpaid leaves to look after Aiman and Aliya when they were born..

Yes, our parents worked when we were small, but they never had to leave us to 'orang luar' or daycare like my children had to go through.

Me and my brother were looked after by our grandparents. So were noorwan and his sister. My sister was looked after by a really nice family, and so was noorwan's sister..

I wish Aliya and Aiman won't have to go through this dilemma with their children.

Skinny dip where art thou..

I literally screamed (with joy) when I saw that familiar LUSH logo when I saw Te Awa's opening adds. The Awa is the new shopping area that is being built at Te Rapa. Phase 1 dah siap, opening day was last thurs, so dia iklan la dalam paper. One of of the shop is LUSH!!!

I got addicted to LUSH on my uni days kat Aberdeen. Some of their products are utterly weird, but they smell divine! If you're not familiar with their stuff, going to their shop for the first time can be very overwhelming..sensory overload..

The first ever stuff that I bought was a bar of karma soap. Boy, I was pleasantly shock when I took it home. My whole bathroom smelt nice when I had the shower. Karma is a bit hit and miss though, either you like it or you don't

I even managed to get my dear hubby to use some of their soaps, to my surprise he still remember middle earth :) Sadly LUSH don't make them anymore :(

When we were moving to NZ, I knew they are a few branches in NZ, but not in Hamilton, so I always order online or visited they store when I was in Adeilade and Sydney. Normally kalau order online, will order conditioner to last me a few months at least. Last sekali order just before christmas last yr, so lama dah la jugak..

I have many favourites..

Skinny dip is one of my favourite item from LUSH esp in winter. Initially they make it in shower gel form, then change it to shower cream BUT now..as I have found out today, they have discotinued it altogether!!! Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....Kalau kat UK, at least you sometimes can special order discontinued items through their forum, if they get enough orders, they'll whipp out a batch untuk sapa2 yg order..tapi kat sini mana nak cariii..huhuhu..sedihnya la..punya lama tunggu LUSH mai Hamilton ni..

Tadi beli figs and leaves, floating island and demon in the dark for dear hubby, ni dia yg nak...x boleh beli banyak2 la..mahal :(((

He said I should locum so I could buy LUSH..LOL

My bathroom now has that familiar LUSH smell again :)

Mana updates??

A lot of the things that are lingering on my head did not materilised it onto this blog

WHy?

My mood of late has been about my worries about my exams, my guilt of having to send my kids to be looked after by someone else yada yada..


Nothing fun about it to write about..


We did do something really fun though last weekend. A group of us malaysian went for a ski/snow playing trip. Best, jalan ramai2, sewa rumah, duduk ramai2, masak2 etc

Ramai anak2 kawan yg sebaya dgn aiman, so they are busy entertaining themsleves, so parents are free to borak2 & relax. I hope we can do it more often. For me, it's like giving the kids some 'family' environment that they are missing by being away from relatives in malaysia, like having aunties/uncles/cousins to play with

I've come round in a circle- dah rasa hidup di oversea sebagai seorang single, with no responsibility, then married without kids, then now having the kids..I can see the reflection of what family2 kat Aberdeen dulu had gone through now in my life.. teringat kat kak mahmudah and the geng..byk dah x igt nama..

When you're abroad, your countrymen are your family. I really don't understand why setengah2 org x suka bercampur dgn rakyat negara sendiri when they are abroad..

Senyum sikit

Hmm tiap kali bukak belog sebab nak blogwalking ke my bloglist..asyikla nampak perkatan depressed from my prev entry tu..

Reflecting my mood lately..stress!!

Weekend baru ni satu habuk kerja pun x buat..

Hari sabtu ptg bawak aiman pi umah tok Aaron, kawan dia kat daycare..mula2 malas nak pi,apa haku nak borak ngn mak pak dia, sure buhsan gila..borak2 ngn omputih ni nak borak apa la sgt kan..dahla at the same time geng2 malay ladies gather kat umah k asna, buat coklat..tapi since dah janji dari 2-3 hari sebelum lagi nak pi umah Aaron, x baik la mungkir janji kan.., nasib baik ok..the kids enjoyed playing

Balik dah petang..makan, bg depa mandi n tidur

malam tu tgk movie, x berapa igt tajuk..somtehing like thongs snogging etc etc..cerita pasai teenagers..after that tgk cerita it's complicated plak..cerita ni meleret2 sikit, dah la waktu tgk tu dah 12lebih..jenuh tahan mata he3

Esok paginya pi minum kopi kat pumice with k nim , rina, anne,hanna, azila and their spouses + kids..lepas tu dah alang2 kat Te Rapa, singgah la furniture shop..hajat hati nak cari dining table. Meja yg ada la ni kecik..4 seater, nak cari 6 seater at least..tapi kami dua amat malas nak ronda kedai furniture bawak budak dua org ni..plus konon2 nak beli yg solid wood la apa la..kena himpun duit la...bila p semalam, it reminded me why sampai la kami x dak proper dining table, sangat la seksa nak pi ngn depa dua ni..aiman dah ok, dengar kata, aliya la..takut dia bg pecah ornaments2 yg org buat display tu..

selepas tu pi mitre 10 sat, beli painters tape, bukan nak cat dinding pun, nak guna untuk label stuff dalam freezer, I have a huge freezer, 520 litre kot rasanya, so byk la benda dalam tu, kalau x lable properly, selalu tersilap defrost benda, paling selalu tertukar>> schnitzel dgn steak, sebab dua2 ni..bila dah beku, rupa nampak sama..tension la jugak..sebab dok elok2 ada bahan untuk steak, tiba kena tukaq menu makan schnitzel at the last minute..kan haru tu..

Depressed

Feeling really low for the past few days
Didn't feel recharged on monday morning..

Low in mood
Not tearful
A bit forgetful today
Appetite still ok
Disturbed sleep thanks to the two littlies..

Yest I woke up with sore shoulders + neck. Has been like that for a few days, but yest I couldn't even concentrate at work.Went for a massage and my back and neck are sorted now..

I know what I need for the soul..but I am damn too busy for that...and I am doing Anglesea tonight :( and have study meeting tomorrow night..

I need a break!

Dilemma of a working mum..

Lately aiman macam x semangat nak pi daycare..

LAst week x pi 2 hari sebab konon x sihat

Hari Rabu, nampak macam x sihat,apyrexial though. So daddy ambik sick leave. But daddy said he was fine.Main macam biasa etc. He promised to go to daycare on Thurs and he went

On Friday, he woke up, nangis2 claimed that he wasn't well. Vomitted on my bed, checked his temp 38C, so I thought fine, if I sent him anyway kalau dia buat monyok2 at daycare, they will send him home anyway, lagi leceh,harder for me to cancel my clinic. At this time daddy dah selamat on his way to Tauranga for his peripheral clinic. I rang my practice manager, tgk2 dia pun cuti sakit..spoke to the receptionist, Chrissy, she said she can easily divert my patients to other GPs..alhamdulillah..so I stayed at home with both of them. x hantaq aliya sebab malas nak pi umah Janifal..

Weekend- happy la both of us x kerja..

This morning, I dropped both daddy and him at daycare.Just got a text msg from daddy saying that Aiman macam x seronok, sayu saja muka..last Mon pun macam tu, but I thought he was unwell, sebab weekend haritu time hari Ahad, he had temperature

Lately Aiman x enjoy sangat pi sekolah..dulu2 Aiman geng dgn Riley, Tuplu, Anay, Yash Sean and Ashton..but depa2 ni older than him. Apart from Yash..kat NZ ni, you starts school as soon as you turns 5, bukan macam kat malaysia where semua orang start serentak..

So geng2 dia ni dah start sekolah..Yash pulak, mak dia tukaq pi public kindy sebab mak dia cuti bersalin, so nak jimat duit sikit..Ashton recently started school, tinggal la Aiman sorang of the geng tu..

La ni dia dah x dak geng2 dia, dia macam x semangat la.. x sangka sungguh budak2 pun ada preference nak kawan dgn siapa etc..

Pagi tadi pun dia x dak mood bila gerak dia..sebab dia tau kena pi sekolah..

Ohh lagi satu..in the last month or two, 2 of his teachers, Ange and Robyn pindah tukar kerja kat tempat lain..rasanya ni pun faktor penyumbang kepada ketidak happy-an aiman kat daycare..kalau depa ada mungkin dia ok sikit

I really don't know what to do. Takkan nak tukar pi daycare lain? Bulan 2 tahun depan Aiman dah nak masuk sekolah, so kalau pindah, less than a year. Nak hantar kat Janifal, he will be bored stiff kat sana..Tapi kesian la kalau he's not happy.. I don't know what to do..sob sob..

Aiman ni sensitive sikit..so things like this will effect him dearly..

Belajar dulu..belajar sekarang..

Dulu2 zaman undergrad, time x dak anak..boleh la nak aim study 4 hrs/day..



Sekarang bila dah ada anak, tanggungjawab sudah bertambah, nak dapat 1/2 hr quality study time pun payah..semua nak kena buat time anak2 tidur, by the time they're asleep, I am mentally and physically exhausted



Weekend dulu2, guna study plus berlagha-lagha an..sekarang ni, nak mencelah study mmg kena azam sangat tinggi..

Trying my very best to write up my audit..it's 11.11 pm and I am sleepy and tired. Can't even force my brain to work.Dulu2 I won't mind staying up late because I know I can rest the next day, but now..with little kids, I know that I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow..

I don't study when the kids are awake, dahla weekdays kerja, hari cuti pulak mummy mengadap buku..kesian kat depa..BUT..bila nak study niiiiii..hu3..kerja rumah lagi..
I love cooking but it's becoming such a chore now..takes soo much time

Jack of all trades..

Master of none..

That's what GPs are..

BUT I don't like musculoskeletal problems..huwaaaaaaa...........

MSS MSS go away..don't ever come back my way..hangpa pi la jumpa org lain weiiii!!

Why???

Pesakit asia mesti nak bagitau depa kerja besaq, abg sedara sepupu angkat dia doctor, dia dah dok NZ bertahun2, kerja engineer, ada kereta besaq, dok rumah besaq (siap ada patient pernah bawak iklan rumah yg tunjuk harga rumah dia berapa ribu lagi tau!!) yada yada yada..

Tapi pesakit berkulit putih jarang macam tu..infact x pernah aku jumpa lagi yg sibuk dok habaq dia tu sapa..tadi mai patient bawak anak dua, laki dia doctor gigi (gaji banyak weiii!!) clinic sebelah clinic aku..haram dia x bagitau aku pun..nasib baik receptionist yg kebetulan baru2 ni sakit gigi dan terpaksa jumpa mamat tu yg bagitau aku..well not that aku akan bg different treatment..but..

just the difference you see

sebab sebelum depa tu mai, ada lelaki dari cambodia mai bawak bini dia..berlagak ya amat!! Aku tanya bini dia PR ka dak, dia macam bengang..dah bini dia sepatah haram pun tak tau english..bukan aku kalut sangat nak pi report immigration ka hapa..kalau x PR aku nak kena habaq cost scan semua..satgi kata aku x inform pulak..

Byk lagi la ragam2 patients asia ni..

macam org kita jugak la..

kena speaking2 sikit dulu baru org respect, kalau pakai serabai org x pandang, semua org kena panggil by gelaran, datuk la datin la..x habih2 nak menunjuk...

can't we treat people for their personality, respect semua org sama rata..

Sekian syarahan untuk hari ini..