Why???

Pesakit asia mesti nak bagitau depa kerja besaq, abg sedara sepupu angkat dia doctor, dia dah dok NZ bertahun2, kerja engineer, ada kereta besaq, dok rumah besaq (siap ada patient pernah bawak iklan rumah yg tunjuk harga rumah dia berapa ribu lagi tau!!) yada yada yada..

Tapi pesakit berkulit putih jarang macam tu..infact x pernah aku jumpa lagi yg sibuk dok habaq dia tu sapa..tadi mai patient bawak anak dua, laki dia doctor gigi (gaji banyak weiii!!) clinic sebelah clinic aku..haram dia x bagitau aku pun..nasib baik receptionist yg kebetulan baru2 ni sakit gigi dan terpaksa jumpa mamat tu yg bagitau aku..well not that aku akan bg different treatment..but..

just the difference you see

sebab sebelum depa tu mai, ada lelaki dari cambodia mai bawak bini dia..berlagak ya amat!! Aku tanya bini dia PR ka dak, dia macam bengang..dah bini dia sepatah haram pun tak tau english..bukan aku kalut sangat nak pi report immigration ka hapa..kalau x PR aku nak kena habaq cost scan semua..satgi kata aku x inform pulak..

Byk lagi la ragam2 patients asia ni..

macam org kita jugak la..

kena speaking2 sikit dulu baru org respect, kalau pakai serabai org x pandang, semua org kena panggil by gelaran, datuk la datin la..x habih2 nak menunjuk...

can't we treat people for their personality, respect semua org sama rata..

Sekian syarahan untuk hari ini..

The C word..

CANCER

Dreaded by everybody

I am reading on breast cancer tonight..It brought back to me the memory of my autie who died of breast cancer last year. I happened to be in malaysia during her final months and when she died, it was sad. What saddened me most was a few weeks before she died,she told my mum (her SIL) that their life had just started to get better, and now this happened. They were quite poor, she had 6 children so had to do without a lot of things..now the children are older, her life was much better..she didn't get to enjoy it for long..she was only in her mid fifties. Being the traditional kampung folks, they refused radiotherapy. Her husband took her home..she died within a few weeks of coming home..no palliative, no pain relief..

My 1st proper encounter with cancer was during my very 1st job as an intern.

I remembered very well that this makcik was admitted under us for investigation of jaundice. Her liver function tests were abnormal. Her abdo ultrasound showed that she had growth in her liver. But only biopsy can determined the nature of it. Unfortunately her INR was quite high and the radiologist simply wouldn't touch her because she could bleed on table.

I still remember where her bed was, I had to bleed her daily, she was oedematous, her veins were no where to be seen..everyday we would chat as I looked for her veins..hoping, praying that her INR would drop below 1.5 so she could have the biopsy

I think her INR didn't come down in the end but the radiologist eventually agreed to perform the biopsy, we gave her vit K.

The biopsy confirmed the dreaded diagnosis..liver cancer

She deteriorated very rapidly..I still remember the room that she was moved to during her final days..I would visit her at least once a day whener I go past the room eventhough I know she was too delirious to recognise me..


She died just before christmas..she had less than 3 months from her 1st presentation..


Dear hubby is traning to be a radiation oncologist..so he sees cancer patients everyday and will bring home lots of stories..he was oncall today, had to tell a patient he would probably die tonight..he recieved a call about 1/2 hr ago from the nurses..he's dead..

The C word..

Have we met before??

Semalam ada sorang makcik ni mai clinic jumpa aku..

Normally I am super terrible with faces..we see soooo many people..

1st time when I greet that makcik kat reception rasa macam pernah jumpa..tanya dia dia kata x kenal..ok takpa..

borak2 bla bla tanya masalah dia etc etc..then tanya la dia kerja apa..dia kata ternak lebah..

Dingg!! Dia la makcik yg aku pi rumah beli HONEY baru2 ni..

What a small world..mmg x sangka..sebab rumah dia must be about 1/2 hr to 45mins to my practice..

Next time kena bg discount la bila pi beli honey ya makcik heheh..

Lemsip ohh lemsip..

I am very sceptical about all this cold/flu remedies..for me it's all about marketing ploy to get people to spend more money for unnecessary medicines..




Tapi hari ni desperate..dulu2 kalau sakit, x apala jugak, kerja kat hosp, ada sick leave banyak..paid sick leave..starting from next year I'll be self-employed, sakit>> tak kerja = x dak gaji..woooo..x best la kan.., unless I decided to be a salaried GP la next year..tgk la macam mana

So this morning, my mission was to buy some remedies for symptomatic relief..Mula2 sangatla malas + x larat nak kuaq umah..demam la kunun kan..tapi incik husband suh bini dia yang demam ni pi hantaq DVD kat library yg dah 2-3 hari overdue..dah alang2 keluaq tu..

After pi hantaq DVD,

Mula2 pi Te Khowai..nak cari active manuka honey..nani pernah cerita dia beli kat satu tempat ni, check2 online, tgk address Te Khowai..okla..igtkan Te Khowai Rd, x la jauh dari The Base, dulu selalu pi rumah patients kat situ..sekali..tempat jual honey tu kat Te Khowai betui nun..pusing punya pusing, sampai la jugak akhirnya..ALhamdullilah..dapat la honey sebotoi besaq..1kg terus haku beli..ambik!



Dah tu, nak balik singgah pulak The Base, nak pi Warehouse, cari Lemsip + lozenges + tissue

I decided to try Lemsip...Pipah my friend kat UK dulu, swears on this. In fact sampai dah balik malaysia pun she still thinks lemsip is the best?? Moi?? Dulu2 aku x pernah beli pun lemsip, satu aku x percaya that it works..dua..mahal laaa... tadi aku beli $14.99 for 10 sachets..kira mahal la for just paracetamol kan kan?? Tapi aku beli jugak sebab selain paracetamol 1g, dia ada phenylephrine which is a decongestant..dalam2 banyak jenis decongestant yg ada, yg ni strength paling kuat for the lowest price..ohh dia ada guaiphenesin, kunun2 bagus untuk chesty cough, tapi batu aku more on the dry cough..tibai sajalah..

Aku dah try 1 sach...rasa?? sangat bluekkk...menyesal x ambik yg capsules..ingatkan ambik yg drinks lagi rasa feeling2 minum lemsip >> dan lagi tu dalam demam2 ni hahhaha..

ini rupa kotak dia

Yang lain2 tu beli la lozenges, sebab esok ada Seminar one whole day, x mo ponteng kalau boleh sebab I usually learn a lot from these seminars. Lozenges ni buat bekal supaya x batuk terkokek kokek kacau org lain..ni ha hasil tangkapan kat Warehouse tadi


Ohh beli gak tissue sekotak..dah abis sekotak dah sejak demam ni..beli la yg special sikit tadi..aloe vera + eucalyptus konon..idung dah melecet dah ni..






Lepas tu tadi..baru perasan macam2 jenis panadol ada jual..panadol osteo la..apa la..harga mahal2 pulak tu..bila baca ingredients x dak apa yg special pun..jahat betui depa ni dok tipu org..

Lemsip mujarab ka dak?? entahla..baru minum 10 mins ago..

Demam mode..

Started with BATUK , sekarang batuk makin menjadi2, plus sore throat and runny nose..bermulalah another season of viral infection..tisu nak abih dah sekotak, hidung dah sakit2 dek sebab asek dok hembus

Ohh dear..sejak dok NZ ni asal winter saja mesti sakit, x winter pun sakit jugak..heran betul..in the space of less than a year, dah 3 kali demam teruk..mula2 time RAYA HAJI , then about 3-4 months ago, time tu buat psych..each time demam, makan seminggu jugak nak baik..

Ni rasa macam esok x boleh nak pi kerja saja ni..Dr lagi sakit dari patients..

Why did you BUY me?

We had guests for lunch today. Hubby's workmates. One of them is Nicola, she just completed her exams and is now a consultant. After thay had left, I asked hubby, how old is Nicola, he said 38. I know her pretty well. So I said, hmm..she probably won't be having any kids then. She has no partner currently. Hearing this conversation, Aiman asked me..

A-mummy why does she not have any kids?

M- Some people don't want kids

A- Why??

M- Not sure what to say, but thought it might be a good idea to say something along this line--because kids like you make a lot of mess, don't listen to their parents yada yada (with the intention to get him to not make the mess, listen to me etc etc)

A- Why do you BUY me then?? Why don't you let other people BUY me??

M- Speechless..sedih pun ada..x tau nak jawab apa..I said, I didn't buy you darling, I gave birth to you..

A- What is birth??

M- Scratches her head..

Cough..cough..cough

I've taken more codeine that I would like too and I am soo not looking forward to the side effects..dah la pemalas minum ayaq..huhhu..but that stupid pholcodine linctus just doesn't do anything..not even a placebo effect. Buat habih duit ada la..But Alhamdullillah, this is nothing compared to what some other people are going through at the moment

Pukul satu tiga puluh lapan pagi..

It's 1.38am. I am wide awake. Body is tired but mind is racing. I think it's the mocchachino that I drank at Lollipop Playland earlier this afternoon. I normally don't take caffeinated drink after 6pm for this very reason..but it was 5pm and I only drank 1/2 a cup!! The rest kena pow by Aliya and Aiman. Sigh..looks like I have to avoid caffein after 4 maybe from now on..

Guess who's going to be a walking zombie tomorrow..

Sleep hygiene ohh sleep hygiene..(ohh that reminded me of my audit yg x siap2 lagi tu)

Home is where the heart is..

Where is my heart? Has my heart been split into two?

I was at a birthday party today. Sean's 5th birthday. Kawan Aiman. Got talking to his grandmother.

She asked me whether I have any family here, I said no.

Then we got talking about my parents, I was explaining to her how my mum misses the children so much,I could feel it each time we talked on the phone. I feel very guilty for depriving her off the children and vice versa. But she couldn't visit for long because my dad was bored out of his mind each time he visited us. No friends, different culture etc etc..and I said 'back home' , referring my DAD and 'home' being his 'home' country.

Now, I haven't used that term for myself in a long time..I hadn't realised that.I used to in the past..now I just said 'malaysia' not 'home'. What has happened? Do I love malaysia less now? I don't think so. I guess I've been abroad for so long now, I just feel as comfortable here as I am back in Malaysia.So both are 'home' now

Auntie Kamariah was right..she once told me and Ezlin, the longer you stay abroad, the harder it is to go back for good and both me and Ezlin are still abroad.Of course she was talking from her own experience. I keep thinking about her lately, I haven't been in touch with her since I left Aberdeen. Must give her a ring..

Bahasa rojak anak-anak ku..

Aiman's vocab

Baju maker

News khabar

Aliya's

Aliya dah boleh cakap hindi sikit2..dia memang paham hindi pun selama ni sebab baby sitter dia Indian, Fijian Muslim. I let them speak hindi with her sebab pernah tanya speech therapist dulu will it affect her language development, dia kata x pa..

Tadi baby sitter bagi tau, since husband dia cuti (husband dia cuti 3 bulan sebab baru2 ni operation cardiac bypass) Aliya makin byk cakap hindi, tadi Aliya kata kat husband dia "Abu, challo" sambil tarik tangan ajak keluaq..betui ka eja macam ni??

So tadi balik rumah, saja test tarik tangan Aliya sambil kata "aliya, challo" She looked at me, muka heran + terkejut and then she laughed!! Amazing!! How kids can differentiate between different languages, she knows that we speak different language at home and they speak different language there!

Exam...

To my dear darling husband I wish you all the best for your exam tomorrow and on monday. InsyaAllah boleh buat. You've done the hard work, so tawakal and do it. My prayers will always be with you. May success be on your side. Amin

Why the cake is GREEN???

It has never occured to me than Pandan Cake should be any other colour than GREEN, well that is if you're Malaysian I guess. Today was my turn to bring morning tea for our weekly Wednesday Seminar Programme and I decided to bake PANDAN CHIFFON CAKE . I thought, cake is not so alien to mat salleh's tongue, but yet I can subtly introduced the asian flavour of the cake.I baked 2 cakes, but only brought 1 and 1/2, partly because I selfishly want to keep some for me to enjoy at home but actually it was because my lovely Aiman had peeled and eaten 1/2 of the crust from one cake!

Lakshmi, who is malaysian was the 1st person who saw the GREEN cake in the kitchen and she immediately asked if it was my turn to bring morning tea and did I bring pandan cake. So I said yes.I should have realised then since it was that obvious!!

Then when it came to tea time, Amy 1st saw the cake and she had this weird look on her face and she immediately asked why the cake is GREEN, LOL..Then I realised that whilst it is very common for us to have GREEN bingka, ketayap etc..mat sallehs don't really 'do' green cakes LOL..

Then I had to explain about how we traditionally juiced the pandan leaves to add it to our dessert for flavouring hence we get the tinge of colour

Peter, our visiting teacher even asked me,why the crust is brown, not GREEN?? LOL, I don't know, never thought about that!

At least they all love the cake, to Laksmi's disappointment, not even a crumb left! She was eyeing for some leftover to take home..I need to bake more for our playdate this weekend

Sorry, I am too lazy to take new pictures..you just have to make do with pictures from my foodie blog

Feijoas

Feijoa ni sejenis buah yg so far kami hanya jumpa di New Zealand. Sedap...mula2 mai NZ dulu x berapa reti makan, sebab beli dekat pak n Save, x sedap plus x tau nak makan macam mana. Then satu hari ni nurse ward 58 bawak mai satu beg letak kat kitchen, depa yg ajaq makan, terus jatuh cinta he3.. waktu tu baru lagi sampai NZ, back in 2007.Buah ni bentuk n saiz macam teloq ayam, ada yg besaq ada yg kecik, kira macam teloq ayam gred A, B, C la.Buah ni bermusim, time autumn saja ada

Rupa2 nya yg beli x sedap sebab buah ni kena tunggu dia luruh, kita kutip kat atas tanah, yg beli tu dia petik dan peram, tu yg x berapa manis

Cara makan pulak, belah dua macam gambar kat atas tu, then scoop out the soft fleshy middle part, yg tepi2 tu buang, kami pi hentam kopek kulit and makan macam tu saja..patut la x sedap he3..feijoa ni adik beradik jambu, tapi more aromatic..

Aiman and aliya suka sgt...alhamdullilah tahun ni murah rezeki depa, byk sungguh feijoa yg kami dapat..sampai ngilu gigi makan, sebab dia masam2 manis, will defo miss this fruit bila dah balik malaysia nanti..

Maybe this is part of the reason why I am feeling down lately??

Tadi chat dgn Tehsin, kawan kat university dulu, kebetulan dia tegoq kat FB . Before I left Scotland dulu dia baru nak start buat GP training, so dah a few yrs jugak la dia jadi GP.

Tanya dia macam mana, dia suka tak jadi GP, dia kata ok but sometimes it can be a bit lonely..yesss..that is what I am experiencing right now..sekarang ni, apt only 15 mins, mana boleh spend lama2 borak kosong, byk lagi patients dok tunngu kat luar, sekejap sgt, ngam2 untuk sort out the problems ja, no banter

Kat hosp dulu, even busy, there are lots of people to chat too,time clerk in patients, ada gak masa borak2 merapu dgn patients, with nurses..borak2 yg geng2 Dr lain at lunchtime..tapi sekarang, people have their breaks at different times..kalau borak pun..aduhai..cerita pasal news. weekend activities..sekadar berbabasa..that's why we all love our Wednesday Seminars..apart from mmg th teachings are normally good, tu la masa kami catch up sesama sendiri...gossiping etc..

I think I enjoy Anglesea a lot more. So maybe next yr buat half Anglesea half permanent kot?? Tapi Anglesea kira macam locum, only 1/4th of the hr saja kot contributed towards my training hmm..need to find out more about it..

Normally I know if I like my work or not based on how I feel bila bgn pg, kala rasa looking fwd nak pi kerja, ok la..so far..belum rasa macam tu..tapi x la x suka, just not excited..not like when I did Home Hospital or Psych..time tu best, good bunch of nurses and collegue. I like tues and fri sebab my teacher ada, tapi hari dia x dak, macam boring sikit, sebab semua org lain busy with their things

I guess that's why I am turning into FBing and blogging a lot more now..I think I crave the social interactions

Happy Mother's Day..

To all mothers out there esp to my mum and MIL.

To my Dear Husband , thank you very much for the Pandora bead, much much appreciated..tahun depan buat lagi he3..a massage voucher like last time would be even better :) he3..x jumpa la pulak gambar bead tu nak letak kat sini..x larat dah nak cari..da ngantuk..Lepas ni kalau nak beli lagi, get a murano one pulak tau he3...nak bg balance..

Hasil rondaan petang tadi..

Antara benda tak berapa perlu yg diperolehi petang tadi adalah..

Wall decals untuk bilik aliya and aiman. Dah lama aim nak beli, nak hias bilik depa cantik2, nak menarik depa tidoq dalam tu la konon...beli sikit2, mula2 duvet cover. Selalu jumpa decals ni either terlalu mengikut 'theme' atau mahal sgt..malas la nka ikut theme sgt sebab, selalu theme dia either theme untuk 'girl' atau boy..tapi depa dua ni share bilik..susah sikit..

Decals ni beli kat Warehouse, kedai kegemaran masyarakat di sini..sebab barang2 dia murah heheh

Ni bilik depa setelah mummy and daddy gigih dok main pelekat-pelekat, gambaq kelam la pulak, sebab x pakai flash kot..curtain tu pun x matching, nantilah, ada rezeki lebih nanti nak pi cari curtain kaler kuning ka..sekarang ni dah makin sejuk, tu yg ada heater dok menyibuk tgh2 tu, bilik depa kami dah start on heater, our room belum lagi, still ok with just the electric blanket, tapi budak2 ni kesian pulak sebab asek dok keluaq dari duvet saja

Ni aiman punya side..123



Aliya punya side..ABC








Aiman kata tadi.."wow mummy..the wall looks really cool" Dia suka sgt2 la tu..Bila pasang aliya punya pulak, dgn broken englishnya dia kata "Aliya one's is only nice a little bit"

Kami rasa apa yg dia nak kata sebenaqnya adalah " It's nice, but mine is nicer" heheheh

Bila ada masa..

Jadi mati akai x tau nak buat apa pulak dah..

Harini have been awfully quiet for most of us..so my boss yg baik hati sudah kasi balik awal, dia dah mintak receptionist blocked all my appoinments for this afternoon. Yippeee

BUT

since I didn't expect this to happen, jadi mati kutu pulak..The only thing that I could think of is nak pi Pak n Save, do some grocery shopping! How boring! Selalu dok kalut sgt x dak kids free time la bla bla..call incik suami kata nak pi grocery shopping n then amek aliya balik umah..dia plak nak p amek aiman, bawak pi semayang jumaat then balik umah..

Maybe I should go to Miller's? Konon2 nya ada sale sempena mother's day

Mornthong ohh mornthong..

Mornthong ni durian dalam bahasa siam kot, sebab selalu dok beli durian frozen kat packet tu dia tulih frozen mornthong
Tadi bila balik kerja tiba2 teringin nak makan durian, ajak incik suami singgah thai shop, beli la 2 bungkus..sekilo $10.80..

Dah dok oversea ni..mornthong pun mornthong laa sob sob..

Kalau kat malaysia silap la nak pandang durian siam ni..jeling saja..sebab my grandparents ada byk kebun durian..kecik2 memang main bawah pokok durian, manggis etc..siap eksyen lagi, siap boleh pilih2 pokok mana peberet, pokok mana x berkenan, pokok mana isi tebal, pokok mana lemak manis..durian jantung la, tembaga la..semua ada..mana main durian siam, isi x best, texture x best, x wangi etc etc..sangat mengada hokayyy

Ohh sedapnya Durian pokok Kampung Paya (kebun peberet ku!!)


Durian masih dalam peket..

Closed up sikit, x nampak la pulak dia tulih siam mari tu..

Dah masuk pinggan, sedia untuk dinikmati..x la sedap sgt, tapi Alhamdulliah, tuhan masih bg rezeki + appetite untuk nikmati frozen mornthong ni..



La ni jarang2 balik dapat kena musim durian buah kebun, baru2 ni saja dapat rasa buah kebun Kampung Paya, tu pun yg frozen, mak simpan..

Mummy..it's not BEN

Conversation with Aiman waktu dinner tadi...

Mummy: Aiman buat apa at school tadi?

Aiman: Play with my friends

Mummy: Ohh Aiman main dgn sapa? Yash? Sean? (Dua2 ni bestfriends Aiman kat daycare)

Aiman: Yeah..and I play with Ben too

Mummy: Ohh who's Ben? (jarang dgr aiman sebut nama Ben)

Aiman: Mummmmmyyyy it's not BEN, it's BIN

Mummy: ohhh BIN (trying her very best to pronounce it kiwi way..

Aiman: No mummy, BIN is for rubbish, it's BIN >>stressing the kiwi accent there..ntah kat mana yg lain pun x tau la

sampai sudah I cannot pronounce it they way it should be (according to Aiman lahh)

Kalau ikut kiwi accent ni, seven dia sebut sivin, ten depa sebut tin..So Ben bunyi macam Bin, tapi x la bunyi macam bin tong sampah tu..apa yg lain, x tau la pulak

Yay..Aliya's new trike

A Radio Flyer fold 2 go. Baru order tadi from trademe . Trademe ni lebih kurang EBAY, LELONG etc versi NZ

I wanted this one actually..I always like the classic red radio flyer trike and the built quality..and ohh if I can get the wagon, it's even better he3 (sapa yg nak main ni?? nampak sgt mak dia yg beria)

Sebab apa beli? Actually Aliya dah ada trike..yang macam ni..



Looking at the colour and design, off course la trike itam ni a hands me down from Aiman to Aliya kan, murah saja beli dalam $30-40 camtu (yg ni 2nd trike aiman actually, yg 1st tu kan..pada suatu hari yg hening..mummy telah baling ke lantai, mengamuk kat aiman, naik hantu apa ntah waktu tu..terus patah, x sangka benda ni boleh patah, sebab nampak solid..kesian betui tgk aiman waktu tu nak naik x boleh sebab patah dikerjakan mummy yg ganas ni..terus pi beli baru sebab nak tebus rasa bersalah tu..ehh menyimpang jauh pulak cerita trike ni..

Baru2 ni bawak trike itam ni pi umah Janifal, babysitter Aliya, tinggal terus kat sana sebab kesian kat Aliya x dak benda nak main2 bila dia kat sana. Ingatkan sebab dia dah byk ride on toys lain kat rumah, x kisah la.Tapi each time nak balik dari umah Janifal, dia mesti nak naik trike ni bwk balik rumah, ptg tadi sampai x mo balik..agaknya bila abg main bike abg, aliya x boleh nak join kot, selalu abg nak bike, adik akan naik trike..

So singgah la kedai mainan OTW balik umah td, nak usya2 trike radio flyer ni..tapi not instock, dia baru nak tanya supplier berapa harga etc and nak kena order dulu..so malam tadi usyar Trademe, terjumpa yg purple kat atas tu, discuss2 dgn Mr Daddy, decided ambik yg purple tu sebab murah. Org tu wat clearance,last season punya colour..alahh depa bukan tau pun..harga asal $150 kot..jadi $80incl postage..yg merah tu pulak $170..agak mahal la..boleh beli bike betul dah..tu yg Mr Daddy suh amek yg purple tu..frust mummy x dapat beli retro radio flyer yg dah lama di idamkan itu..(sapa yg nak main ni??)


Bagus jugak benda ni kaler purple, Aiman n aliya suka berebut mainan, trike ni dah la kaler purple, siap ada rambu ramba lagi, boleh kata kat aiman, yg ni only for girls hehehhe..x sabar nak tunggu benda alah ni sampai.