Where is my heart? Has my heart been split into two?
I was at a birthday party today. Sean's 5th birthday. Kawan Aiman. Got talking to his grandmother.
She asked me whether I have any family here, I said no.
Then we got talking about my parents, I was explaining to her how my mum misses the children so much,I could feel it each time we talked on the phone. I feel very guilty for depriving her off the children and vice versa. But she couldn't visit for long because my dad was bored out of his mind each time he visited us. No friends, different culture etc etc..and I said 'back home' , referring my DAD and 'home' being his 'home' country.
Now, I haven't used that term for myself in a long time..I hadn't realised that.I used to in the past..now I just said 'malaysia' not 'home'. What has happened? Do I love malaysia less now? I don't think so. I guess I've been abroad for so long now, I just feel as comfortable here as I am back in Malaysia.So both are 'home' now
Auntie Kamariah was right..she once told me and Ezlin, the longer you stay abroad, the harder it is to go back for good and both me and Ezlin are still abroad.Of course she was talking from her own experience. I keep thinking about her lately, I haven't been in touch with her since I left Aberdeen. Must give her a ring..
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