Tomorrow is THE day..

Very scared of the unknown
Dalam banyak2 exam selama ni, yg ni la paling rasa x ready sekali
Not that I haven't prepared anything
But I can't seem to crack the answering technique
Things that  I have read + thought I know the topics pun x boleh jawab (mock questions) rasa frust sangat :(

For clinical at least I know I was prepared

Dah usaha setakat yang mampu, doa & tawakkal saja la.

Terasa lambat tapi cepat...

Apa la punya tajuk entry..

alkisahnya..sudah x sabar mau habis exam sebab mau enjoy LOL..kepala otak ni dah plan macam2..BBQ la, pi Coromandel la..tapi...kalau cepat nak sampai ke hari exam, study nya belum habis lagi..macam mana tu?

The Guilt..

I have this problem ever since A-level/Med School

Selalunya dekat2 nak xm, I feel that I should be studying all the time or as much as I can,simply not possible now that I have a husband + 2 kids in tow.. anything that distracts me from studying, will make me feel terribly guilty. 

Less than 2 weeks to my 1st exam, then, 2 weeks gap, then my 2nd exam. Despite still not 100% ready (never will be) I can't wait.. to fully enjoy summer..

Udah beli

anak patung cumel ni utk Aliya..x sabar tunggu Aliya balik..
Kalau anak x mo main, mummy jek la yg main..
Ada macam2 pesen lagi
Anak patung brand Corolle, adik beradik sepusat sepusing, mak asing2 CORELLE muahahha

Setiap yang berlaku..

Ada hikmahnya

Kita mungkin x nampak hikmahnya bila musibah tu berlaku

Manusia hanya merancang, tapi Allah jua lah sebaik2 perancang..


Di saat aku harus berjuang untuk menduduki exam, di kala ni la tiba2 byk ujian yg tiba..being a woman,I can't stop thinking about these..

Focus Fid, focus..

Serabut..

Suddenly everything all happens at once..

:( :( :(

Tiba tiba la pulak...

Terasa nak beli iphone 4
I'm not into gadget, selalunya my handphone mesti yg hands me down from incik hubby yg hantu gadget. Tapi memandangkan dia ni hantu gadget, gadget2 dia selalu complicated untuk wife dia yg amatla x techno savvy ni, termasukla  phone yg dok pakai la ni..


Sebab apa nak beli phone baru, phone sekarang asyik drop line, x clear, sgt annoying..


Once dah terfikir nak beli, asyik dok teringat, tapi kalau beli next year march macam tu, boleh claim tax relief..byk gak, 30% kot..kalau beli tahun ni..x bleh claim..camna nii???

Pengorbanan..tapi untuk apa?

Text message from DH this morning:


"Aiman sedih jer hari ni. Dok tepi tingkap lap mata. Wan terpaksa janji macam2"

Really make me super super sad,  sob sob..



Sabaqla Aiman, 6 more weeks till mummy finish my exams and my attachment

I don't know who am I doing this for, myself? them? my parents? terpaksa??

Tutu for Aliya..can't wait

Bought this for Aliya, can't wait for it to arrive. Mula2 nak beli for her birthday, tapi mummy x sabar, I've wanted to buy this ever since I  found out that I was having a girl. Don't know why I waited this long

Tgh cari pearl necklace pulak for her...

4 more weeks..botak la haku...

Botak tapi cung macam Natalie Portman ni x pe la jugak..

I have this habit that I had since uni years..suka cabut rambut time study (to my husband's dismay!!) dia menyampah sebab nanti rambut jatuh merata2, selalu haku kumpul rambut2 tu satu tempat, lepas study, buang

Lagi byk study, lagi byk haku cabut rambut.tangan x bleh dok diam

Time uni dulu, kadang siap pakai tudung time study, sebab takut botak hahhah

Nasib baik lambut jenis lebat

Sudden handbag itch..

I've lasted almost 4 years in NZ with only buying ONE handbag..

Nothing decent to buy here, paling best pun, Oroton je la kot, Aussie brand

Last time beli handbag, on our trip to Sydney more than a year ago, tu pun sebab waktu tu x kerja,on maternity leave,  mampu beli Coach saja, tu pun seksa nak shopping ngan budak2..

ohh how I miss being able to easily window shop and buy handbags in Dublin..

terbayang2 mulberry and YSL yg dulu berkenan kat Brown Thomas tapi tak beli..

Buhsannya..

Here I am, sat at the library trying my very best to digest what am I reading from Orthopaedic Examination Made Easy..Hip and Pelvis chapter precisely

Musculoskeletal is my weak subject..anatomy and understanding of MSS go hand in hand..I am terrible in both..

Here's hoping that PK, my teacher will have some pearl of wisdom for me tomorrow and he won't think I am an idiot..dah la dia ni mmg terer gila MSS, DR for Waikato Rugby lagi..dapat student buta MSS, nasib ler heheh..But for me, Alhamdullilah..last week we went true knee exam, sekejap saja paham after I did it   with
him..That's what the expert are for!

Till then..yawnnnnnnnnnnnnn...........

I am progressing, albeit at a snail space..better than no progress at all right??

Weekend aritu x study sgt sebab dear DH was working

Plan sudah sgt baik....

Patutnya..

Pagi2 pi  hantaq aiman n aliya, then pi library hospital, study + hantar buku due harini, tgh hari pi grand round after lunch, then pi buat pap smear yg sudah 2 bulan overdue, tinggal nak dapat surat ke 3 dari GP aku, lepas tu pi merayap kat kmart + freedom, then ptg pi makan woodfired pizza kat town..sudah lama  x makan

sekali..9.30pi antaq aiman, si jo, cikgu dia kata he shouldn't be there!

gila nak marah aku..mmg aku dah marah pun..mmg agak rude lahaku tad..sila jgn tiru

kisahnya kelmarin, dia muntah 2 x kat sekolah, arnd lunch time,depa quarantine n call kami suh p amek,aku x angkat tepon sebab kuaq lunch terlupa bwk phone,s noorwan yg bwk dia balik umah, depa x kata dia x bleh mai arini

aku kata pasaipa tak bleh mai plak, dia punya vomitting bukan infectious vomiting pun..geram tauu!! dah la balik umah sihat walepat liat saja pun

jo kata ada case satu lagi, so he can only come after 24hrs of last vomit, so aku kata la ridiculous, kalau aku mai hantaq lagi 2 jam, baru boleh

dgn bengangnya aku heret aiman keluaq..dah la waktu tu aiman tgh beriya menangis x mau pi daycare..ni pun satu hal lagi..asyik nak dok umah tgk tv!

aku nak balik umah pun x bolehsebab cleaner ada kat umah 9-11, malas nak balik kacau depa wat keja..so terpaksa la merayap somewhere

so pi la kmart, beli baju kat aliya, balik singgah thai shop beli petai + durian

sgt membuang masa

ni dah dekat pukui 2pm, sepatah perkataan pun x study lagi

dan aiman adalah x dibenarkan tgk tv sama sekali ..aku x mo dia dok igt dok umah dok tv lagi best

problem addicted to tv dia sgt amat chronic..bygkan kalau kami ajak pi playground/going for a walk pun takmau, semata2 nak dok tgk tv!!

So, since aiman boring x tau nak buat apa..asyik dok kacau mummy saja la..

Tadi dia mintakpi daycare,sebab aku kata dia x boleh tgk tv sampai dia balik sekolah esok ptg, tu pun kalau dia x meragam pagi esok time kami nak pi antaq pi daycare..serius rasa macam nak pi hantaq..saja nak bg padan muka so Jo + cikgu2 dia yg lain..tapi aku la plak malas nak buang masa pi hantaq dia..sebab jauh jugak dari umah

Tu belum masuk bab apa nak makan mlm ni lagi..sebab kunun2 nak makan woodfired pizza kannnn.....

Cehh baru berangan nak makan reductil

Time nak masuk bilik tadi nampak surat kat luar pintu bilik

Surat bertarikh 12/10 lagi, yakni, hari ini

Reductil is being ceased from the market daa

Selama ni pun mmg aku jarang2 sekali prescribe because of the side effects

Tapi ni depa nak stop buat ubat tu terus

Sesapa yg dah beli, boleh pi hantaq balik dapat refund

Mulai harini jugak, dah x boleh prescribe reductil

Abih la harapan aku nak kurus

Baru nak convince GP aku MB suh prescribe kat aku walaupun aku tau aku x memenuhi criteria ponnn

Reductil adalah ubat kurus btw..

A moment on the lips..

A lifetime on the hips..

Ni motto adik aku..hasilnya?? before february 2010, berat dia 10kg ringan dari aku, sekarang??? 20 kg lagi ringan dari aku..

Sapa nak tolong kira satt..maksudnya tuan belog punya berat sudah naik 10kg since february..gila ke hapa wehh..

sebab berat naik mencanak2

1) Haku suka makan
2) Stop BF aliya around bulan march - selama ni apa yg aku makan, kalori kuar kot susu
3) Start buat GP, dulu kerja sepital, byk gerak, naik turun tangga etc, sekarang, bukak pintu, patient sudah tunggu depan mata, dah la depa ada coffee machine yg ada hot choc yg sgt sedap lemak berkrim>> pree lak tu!!
4) Konon2 x dak masa nak exercise -yg sebenarnya tu alasan saja -sila jgn tiru wokeh..kalau dr hampa kata kena exercise, hampa sila ikut :)

BMI 24 sudah..upper limit of normal tu!! entah2 dah 25, sudah unhealthy..

Baju byk yg dah ketat, atau masih boleh pakai, tapi sudah nampak enggak molek

Takkan nak beli baju baru kot..

Maybe I should go back and kerja kat ward diabetes Aberdeen Hosp, waktu kerja situ berat turun 15kg, sampai tinggal tulang la pulak heheh

semalam, since desperado, konon nak tiru ada kakak ni makan shake replacement meals, sekali perut haku x tahan la pulak

Gila weh..minum shake tu dalam kul 1230, pukul 2 camtu perut haku memula berangin..dahla waktu tu aku tag along ngan sakkie, tgk skin clinic dia, nak k3ntut ke sendawa pun x boleh..mmg suffer gila la time tu dok bilik dia sampai pukul 4!

Tapi perut haku ni mmg jenis sensitap sikit..pantang silap makan, mmg berangin..

Nampak gaya kena kurus dgn blood, sweat and tears la jugak ni..hahahhah..

Patutla ramai pakat2 mai mintak reductil kat aku..

mana drug company ni..x mo bagi sample reductil ka kat aku??

Empat puluh lapan..

Learnt how to examine a knee the 'exam' way from PK today during our monday lunchbreak today

Revising it at the moment

98 bahagi dua..

Tinggal 49 hari lagi........

Semalam baca stroke prevention, role of antiplatelets vs anticoagulants

What combination to use when etc

Alhamdullilah

Banyakkk sgt benda nak kena cover..

50 days to go..

Until my clinical exam

Clinical 29/11/10 in Wellington
Written 11/12/10 in Hamilton


Ticket dah beli,hotel dah book, I am NZD5,000 poorer


Ya Allah ya Tuhanku..permudahkan lah perjalanan ku ini..terangkan hati ku untuk menerima ilmu-ilmu yg ku baca ini..amin

Senyap sunyi

Kesian sama ini blog..senyap sunyi x ber entry..

Tuan blog nak exam la katakan..studynnya x tera mana pun,masuk blog tetap masuk, sebab nak blogwalking

Pressure weh..mau nya tak..kalau x pass nauzubillah, kena ulang ambik lagi sekali..satu kali ambik exam $4k+NZD huwaaaaaaaa..boleh buat macam2 wehh duit tu..

Kalau la aku baca buku macam baca blog..sure tarak masalah punya..baca blog boleh pulak ingat cerita org tu cerita org ni...tapiiiiiii

bila baca buku..adoi laa

nak kena mandi bunga kot..ehh mandi bunga kalau nak kawin kan..mandi air rendaman buku lah kot

Is he??

Unwell??

Tadi tgh chat dgn Neri kot FB, syok2 chat sebab lama x chat, makan tahun la jugak



tiba2 aiman nangis..rupanya dia muntah..

Adoila..dear hubby said kalau aiman demam esok, dia x boleh cuti, sebab depa la ni x cukup org..

Esok is my teaching day, topic tomorrow is Adolescent. I don't want to miss it if possible..

Hopefully esok Aiman ok, kalau tak, terpaksala mummy ponteng teaching :(

My heart breaks..

Each time I dropped Aiman at daycare

Semalam mangkit pagi dia tanya daddy, Can I stay at home today? I thought it was monday blues..
Bila pi hantaq dia macam x dak mood

But pagi tadi pun x berapa nak mau pi

Dah byk kali tanya bila dia boleh pi big school

I feel terribly guilty..

My priority have changed so much, dulu, my aim was to become a specialist, nak jadi gynae or paediatrician, ramai org tanya awat buat GP, awat x ambik benda lain..

I want too, but I will also have to sacrifice a lot of family time, these specialties are more 'demanding' and less flexible, kena buat calls, nights etc..yes, I will have higher earning potentials..but I want more time for my kids when they still need me..nanti dah besar,dah independent, dah x heran dah kat mummy, waktu tu la baru mummy habis study, baru ada masa untuk depa

I don't understand why a certain family member frowned upon at me when I took long unpaid leaves to look after Aiman and Aliya when they were born..

Yes, our parents worked when we were small, but they never had to leave us to 'orang luar' or daycare like my children had to go through.

Me and my brother were looked after by our grandparents. So were noorwan and his sister. My sister was looked after by a really nice family, and so was noorwan's sister..

I wish Aliya and Aiman won't have to go through this dilemma with their children.

Skinny dip where art thou..

I literally screamed (with joy) when I saw that familiar LUSH logo when I saw Te Awa's opening adds. The Awa is the new shopping area that is being built at Te Rapa. Phase 1 dah siap, opening day was last thurs, so dia iklan la dalam paper. One of of the shop is LUSH!!!

I got addicted to LUSH on my uni days kat Aberdeen. Some of their products are utterly weird, but they smell divine! If you're not familiar with their stuff, going to their shop for the first time can be very overwhelming..sensory overload..

The first ever stuff that I bought was a bar of karma soap. Boy, I was pleasantly shock when I took it home. My whole bathroom smelt nice when I had the shower. Karma is a bit hit and miss though, either you like it or you don't

I even managed to get my dear hubby to use some of their soaps, to my surprise he still remember middle earth :) Sadly LUSH don't make them anymore :(

When we were moving to NZ, I knew they are a few branches in NZ, but not in Hamilton, so I always order online or visited they store when I was in Adeilade and Sydney. Normally kalau order online, will order conditioner to last me a few months at least. Last sekali order just before christmas last yr, so lama dah la jugak..

I have many favourites..

Skinny dip is one of my favourite item from LUSH esp in winter. Initially they make it in shower gel form, then change it to shower cream BUT now..as I have found out today, they have discotinued it altogether!!! Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....Kalau kat UK, at least you sometimes can special order discontinued items through their forum, if they get enough orders, they'll whipp out a batch untuk sapa2 yg order..tapi kat sini mana nak cariii..huhuhu..sedihnya la..punya lama tunggu LUSH mai Hamilton ni..

Tadi beli figs and leaves, floating island and demon in the dark for dear hubby, ni dia yg nak...x boleh beli banyak2 la..mahal :(((

He said I should locum so I could buy LUSH..LOL

My bathroom now has that familiar LUSH smell again :)

Mana updates??

A lot of the things that are lingering on my head did not materilised it onto this blog

WHy?

My mood of late has been about my worries about my exams, my guilt of having to send my kids to be looked after by someone else yada yada..


Nothing fun about it to write about..


We did do something really fun though last weekend. A group of us malaysian went for a ski/snow playing trip. Best, jalan ramai2, sewa rumah, duduk ramai2, masak2 etc

Ramai anak2 kawan yg sebaya dgn aiman, so they are busy entertaining themsleves, so parents are free to borak2 & relax. I hope we can do it more often. For me, it's like giving the kids some 'family' environment that they are missing by being away from relatives in malaysia, like having aunties/uncles/cousins to play with

I've come round in a circle- dah rasa hidup di oversea sebagai seorang single, with no responsibility, then married without kids, then now having the kids..I can see the reflection of what family2 kat Aberdeen dulu had gone through now in my life.. teringat kat kak mahmudah and the geng..byk dah x igt nama..

When you're abroad, your countrymen are your family. I really don't understand why setengah2 org x suka bercampur dgn rakyat negara sendiri when they are abroad..

Senyum sikit

Hmm tiap kali bukak belog sebab nak blogwalking ke my bloglist..asyikla nampak perkatan depressed from my prev entry tu..

Reflecting my mood lately..stress!!

Weekend baru ni satu habuk kerja pun x buat..

Hari sabtu ptg bawak aiman pi umah tok Aaron, kawan dia kat daycare..mula2 malas nak pi,apa haku nak borak ngn mak pak dia, sure buhsan gila..borak2 ngn omputih ni nak borak apa la sgt kan..dahla at the same time geng2 malay ladies gather kat umah k asna, buat coklat..tapi since dah janji dari 2-3 hari sebelum lagi nak pi umah Aaron, x baik la mungkir janji kan.., nasib baik ok..the kids enjoyed playing

Balik dah petang..makan, bg depa mandi n tidur

malam tu tgk movie, x berapa igt tajuk..somtehing like thongs snogging etc etc..cerita pasai teenagers..after that tgk cerita it's complicated plak..cerita ni meleret2 sikit, dah la waktu tgk tu dah 12lebih..jenuh tahan mata he3

Esok paginya pi minum kopi kat pumice with k nim , rina, anne,hanna, azila and their spouses + kids..lepas tu dah alang2 kat Te Rapa, singgah la furniture shop..hajat hati nak cari dining table. Meja yg ada la ni kecik..4 seater, nak cari 6 seater at least..tapi kami dua amat malas nak ronda kedai furniture bawak budak dua org ni..plus konon2 nak beli yg solid wood la apa la..kena himpun duit la...bila p semalam, it reminded me why sampai la kami x dak proper dining table, sangat la seksa nak pi ngn depa dua ni..aiman dah ok, dengar kata, aliya la..takut dia bg pecah ornaments2 yg org buat display tu..

selepas tu pi mitre 10 sat, beli painters tape, bukan nak cat dinding pun, nak guna untuk label stuff dalam freezer, I have a huge freezer, 520 litre kot rasanya, so byk la benda dalam tu, kalau x lable properly, selalu tersilap defrost benda, paling selalu tertukar>> schnitzel dgn steak, sebab dua2 ni..bila dah beku, rupa nampak sama..tension la jugak..sebab dok elok2 ada bahan untuk steak, tiba kena tukaq menu makan schnitzel at the last minute..kan haru tu..

Depressed

Feeling really low for the past few days
Didn't feel recharged on monday morning..

Low in mood
Not tearful
A bit forgetful today
Appetite still ok
Disturbed sleep thanks to the two littlies..

Yest I woke up with sore shoulders + neck. Has been like that for a few days, but yest I couldn't even concentrate at work.Went for a massage and my back and neck are sorted now..

I know what I need for the soul..but I am damn too busy for that...and I am doing Anglesea tonight :( and have study meeting tomorrow night..

I need a break!

Dilemma of a working mum..

Lately aiman macam x semangat nak pi daycare..

LAst week x pi 2 hari sebab konon x sihat

Hari Rabu, nampak macam x sihat,apyrexial though. So daddy ambik sick leave. But daddy said he was fine.Main macam biasa etc. He promised to go to daycare on Thurs and he went

On Friday, he woke up, nangis2 claimed that he wasn't well. Vomitted on my bed, checked his temp 38C, so I thought fine, if I sent him anyway kalau dia buat monyok2 at daycare, they will send him home anyway, lagi leceh,harder for me to cancel my clinic. At this time daddy dah selamat on his way to Tauranga for his peripheral clinic. I rang my practice manager, tgk2 dia pun cuti sakit..spoke to the receptionist, Chrissy, she said she can easily divert my patients to other GPs..alhamdulillah..so I stayed at home with both of them. x hantaq aliya sebab malas nak pi umah Janifal..

Weekend- happy la both of us x kerja..

This morning, I dropped both daddy and him at daycare.Just got a text msg from daddy saying that Aiman macam x seronok, sayu saja muka..last Mon pun macam tu, but I thought he was unwell, sebab weekend haritu time hari Ahad, he had temperature

Lately Aiman x enjoy sangat pi sekolah..dulu2 Aiman geng dgn Riley, Tuplu, Anay, Yash Sean and Ashton..but depa2 ni older than him. Apart from Yash..kat NZ ni, you starts school as soon as you turns 5, bukan macam kat malaysia where semua orang start serentak..

So geng2 dia ni dah start sekolah..Yash pulak, mak dia tukaq pi public kindy sebab mak dia cuti bersalin, so nak jimat duit sikit..Ashton recently started school, tinggal la Aiman sorang of the geng tu..

La ni dia dah x dak geng2 dia, dia macam x semangat la.. x sangka sungguh budak2 pun ada preference nak kawan dgn siapa etc..

Pagi tadi pun dia x dak mood bila gerak dia..sebab dia tau kena pi sekolah..

Ohh lagi satu..in the last month or two, 2 of his teachers, Ange and Robyn pindah tukar kerja kat tempat lain..rasanya ni pun faktor penyumbang kepada ketidak happy-an aiman kat daycare..kalau depa ada mungkin dia ok sikit

I really don't know what to do. Takkan nak tukar pi daycare lain? Bulan 2 tahun depan Aiman dah nak masuk sekolah, so kalau pindah, less than a year. Nak hantar kat Janifal, he will be bored stiff kat sana..Tapi kesian la kalau he's not happy.. I don't know what to do..sob sob..

Aiman ni sensitive sikit..so things like this will effect him dearly..

Belajar dulu..belajar sekarang..

Dulu2 zaman undergrad, time x dak anak..boleh la nak aim study 4 hrs/day..



Sekarang bila dah ada anak, tanggungjawab sudah bertambah, nak dapat 1/2 hr quality study time pun payah..semua nak kena buat time anak2 tidur, by the time they're asleep, I am mentally and physically exhausted



Weekend dulu2, guna study plus berlagha-lagha an..sekarang ni, nak mencelah study mmg kena azam sangat tinggi..

Trying my very best to write up my audit..it's 11.11 pm and I am sleepy and tired. Can't even force my brain to work.Dulu2 I won't mind staying up late because I know I can rest the next day, but now..with little kids, I know that I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow..

I don't study when the kids are awake, dahla weekdays kerja, hari cuti pulak mummy mengadap buku..kesian kat depa..BUT..bila nak study niiiiii..hu3..kerja rumah lagi..
I love cooking but it's becoming such a chore now..takes soo much time

Jack of all trades..

Master of none..

That's what GPs are..

BUT I don't like musculoskeletal problems..huwaaaaaaa...........

MSS MSS go away..don't ever come back my way..hangpa pi la jumpa org lain weiiii!!

Why???

Pesakit asia mesti nak bagitau depa kerja besaq, abg sedara sepupu angkat dia doctor, dia dah dok NZ bertahun2, kerja engineer, ada kereta besaq, dok rumah besaq (siap ada patient pernah bawak iklan rumah yg tunjuk harga rumah dia berapa ribu lagi tau!!) yada yada yada..

Tapi pesakit berkulit putih jarang macam tu..infact x pernah aku jumpa lagi yg sibuk dok habaq dia tu sapa..tadi mai patient bawak anak dua, laki dia doctor gigi (gaji banyak weiii!!) clinic sebelah clinic aku..haram dia x bagitau aku pun..nasib baik receptionist yg kebetulan baru2 ni sakit gigi dan terpaksa jumpa mamat tu yg bagitau aku..well not that aku akan bg different treatment..but..

just the difference you see

sebab sebelum depa tu mai, ada lelaki dari cambodia mai bawak bini dia..berlagak ya amat!! Aku tanya bini dia PR ka dak, dia macam bengang..dah bini dia sepatah haram pun tak tau english..bukan aku kalut sangat nak pi report immigration ka hapa..kalau x PR aku nak kena habaq cost scan semua..satgi kata aku x inform pulak..

Byk lagi la ragam2 patients asia ni..

macam org kita jugak la..

kena speaking2 sikit dulu baru org respect, kalau pakai serabai org x pandang, semua org kena panggil by gelaran, datuk la datin la..x habih2 nak menunjuk...

can't we treat people for their personality, respect semua org sama rata..

Sekian syarahan untuk hari ini..

The C word..

CANCER

Dreaded by everybody

I am reading on breast cancer tonight..It brought back to me the memory of my autie who died of breast cancer last year. I happened to be in malaysia during her final months and when she died, it was sad. What saddened me most was a few weeks before she died,she told my mum (her SIL) that their life had just started to get better, and now this happened. They were quite poor, she had 6 children so had to do without a lot of things..now the children are older, her life was much better..she didn't get to enjoy it for long..she was only in her mid fifties. Being the traditional kampung folks, they refused radiotherapy. Her husband took her home..she died within a few weeks of coming home..no palliative, no pain relief..

My 1st proper encounter with cancer was during my very 1st job as an intern.

I remembered very well that this makcik was admitted under us for investigation of jaundice. Her liver function tests were abnormal. Her abdo ultrasound showed that she had growth in her liver. But only biopsy can determined the nature of it. Unfortunately her INR was quite high and the radiologist simply wouldn't touch her because she could bleed on table.

I still remember where her bed was, I had to bleed her daily, she was oedematous, her veins were no where to be seen..everyday we would chat as I looked for her veins..hoping, praying that her INR would drop below 1.5 so she could have the biopsy

I think her INR didn't come down in the end but the radiologist eventually agreed to perform the biopsy, we gave her vit K.

The biopsy confirmed the dreaded diagnosis..liver cancer

She deteriorated very rapidly..I still remember the room that she was moved to during her final days..I would visit her at least once a day whener I go past the room eventhough I know she was too delirious to recognise me..


She died just before christmas..she had less than 3 months from her 1st presentation..


Dear hubby is traning to be a radiation oncologist..so he sees cancer patients everyday and will bring home lots of stories..he was oncall today, had to tell a patient he would probably die tonight..he recieved a call about 1/2 hr ago from the nurses..he's dead..

The C word..

Have we met before??

Semalam ada sorang makcik ni mai clinic jumpa aku..

Normally I am super terrible with faces..we see soooo many people..

1st time when I greet that makcik kat reception rasa macam pernah jumpa..tanya dia dia kata x kenal..ok takpa..

borak2 bla bla tanya masalah dia etc etc..then tanya la dia kerja apa..dia kata ternak lebah..

Dingg!! Dia la makcik yg aku pi rumah beli HONEY baru2 ni..

What a small world..mmg x sangka..sebab rumah dia must be about 1/2 hr to 45mins to my practice..

Next time kena bg discount la bila pi beli honey ya makcik heheh..

Lemsip ohh lemsip..

I am very sceptical about all this cold/flu remedies..for me it's all about marketing ploy to get people to spend more money for unnecessary medicines..




Tapi hari ni desperate..dulu2 kalau sakit, x apala jugak, kerja kat hosp, ada sick leave banyak..paid sick leave..starting from next year I'll be self-employed, sakit>> tak kerja = x dak gaji..woooo..x best la kan.., unless I decided to be a salaried GP la next year..tgk la macam mana

So this morning, my mission was to buy some remedies for symptomatic relief..Mula2 sangatla malas + x larat nak kuaq umah..demam la kunun kan..tapi incik husband suh bini dia yang demam ni pi hantaq DVD kat library yg dah 2-3 hari overdue..dah alang2 keluaq tu..

After pi hantaq DVD,

Mula2 pi Te Khowai..nak cari active manuka honey..nani pernah cerita dia beli kat satu tempat ni, check2 online, tgk address Te Khowai..okla..igtkan Te Khowai Rd, x la jauh dari The Base, dulu selalu pi rumah patients kat situ..sekali..tempat jual honey tu kat Te Khowai betui nun..pusing punya pusing, sampai la jugak akhirnya..ALhamdullilah..dapat la honey sebotoi besaq..1kg terus haku beli..ambik!



Dah tu, nak balik singgah pulak The Base, nak pi Warehouse, cari Lemsip + lozenges + tissue

I decided to try Lemsip...Pipah my friend kat UK dulu, swears on this. In fact sampai dah balik malaysia pun she still thinks lemsip is the best?? Moi?? Dulu2 aku x pernah beli pun lemsip, satu aku x percaya that it works..dua..mahal laaa... tadi aku beli $14.99 for 10 sachets..kira mahal la for just paracetamol kan kan?? Tapi aku beli jugak sebab selain paracetamol 1g, dia ada phenylephrine which is a decongestant..dalam2 banyak jenis decongestant yg ada, yg ni strength paling kuat for the lowest price..ohh dia ada guaiphenesin, kunun2 bagus untuk chesty cough, tapi batu aku more on the dry cough..tibai sajalah..

Aku dah try 1 sach...rasa?? sangat bluekkk...menyesal x ambik yg capsules..ingatkan ambik yg drinks lagi rasa feeling2 minum lemsip >> dan lagi tu dalam demam2 ni hahhaha..

ini rupa kotak dia

Yang lain2 tu beli la lozenges, sebab esok ada Seminar one whole day, x mo ponteng kalau boleh sebab I usually learn a lot from these seminars. Lozenges ni buat bekal supaya x batuk terkokek kokek kacau org lain..ni ha hasil tangkapan kat Warehouse tadi


Ohh beli gak tissue sekotak..dah abis sekotak dah sejak demam ni..beli la yg special sikit tadi..aloe vera + eucalyptus konon..idung dah melecet dah ni..






Lepas tu tadi..baru perasan macam2 jenis panadol ada jual..panadol osteo la..apa la..harga mahal2 pulak tu..bila baca ingredients x dak apa yg special pun..jahat betui depa ni dok tipu org..

Lemsip mujarab ka dak?? entahla..baru minum 10 mins ago..

Demam mode..

Started with BATUK , sekarang batuk makin menjadi2, plus sore throat and runny nose..bermulalah another season of viral infection..tisu nak abih dah sekotak, hidung dah sakit2 dek sebab asek dok hembus

Ohh dear..sejak dok NZ ni asal winter saja mesti sakit, x winter pun sakit jugak..heran betul..in the space of less than a year, dah 3 kali demam teruk..mula2 time RAYA HAJI , then about 3-4 months ago, time tu buat psych..each time demam, makan seminggu jugak nak baik..

Ni rasa macam esok x boleh nak pi kerja saja ni..Dr lagi sakit dari patients..

Why did you BUY me?

We had guests for lunch today. Hubby's workmates. One of them is Nicola, she just completed her exams and is now a consultant. After thay had left, I asked hubby, how old is Nicola, he said 38. I know her pretty well. So I said, hmm..she probably won't be having any kids then. She has no partner currently. Hearing this conversation, Aiman asked me..

A-mummy why does she not have any kids?

M- Some people don't want kids

A- Why??

M- Not sure what to say, but thought it might be a good idea to say something along this line--because kids like you make a lot of mess, don't listen to their parents yada yada (with the intention to get him to not make the mess, listen to me etc etc)

A- Why do you BUY me then?? Why don't you let other people BUY me??

M- Speechless..sedih pun ada..x tau nak jawab apa..I said, I didn't buy you darling, I gave birth to you..

A- What is birth??

M- Scratches her head..

Cough..cough..cough

I've taken more codeine that I would like too and I am soo not looking forward to the side effects..dah la pemalas minum ayaq..huhhu..but that stupid pholcodine linctus just doesn't do anything..not even a placebo effect. Buat habih duit ada la..But Alhamdullillah, this is nothing compared to what some other people are going through at the moment

Pukul satu tiga puluh lapan pagi..

It's 1.38am. I am wide awake. Body is tired but mind is racing. I think it's the mocchachino that I drank at Lollipop Playland earlier this afternoon. I normally don't take caffeinated drink after 6pm for this very reason..but it was 5pm and I only drank 1/2 a cup!! The rest kena pow by Aliya and Aiman. Sigh..looks like I have to avoid caffein after 4 maybe from now on..

Guess who's going to be a walking zombie tomorrow..

Sleep hygiene ohh sleep hygiene..(ohh that reminded me of my audit yg x siap2 lagi tu)

Home is where the heart is..

Where is my heart? Has my heart been split into two?

I was at a birthday party today. Sean's 5th birthday. Kawan Aiman. Got talking to his grandmother.

She asked me whether I have any family here, I said no.

Then we got talking about my parents, I was explaining to her how my mum misses the children so much,I could feel it each time we talked on the phone. I feel very guilty for depriving her off the children and vice versa. But she couldn't visit for long because my dad was bored out of his mind each time he visited us. No friends, different culture etc etc..and I said 'back home' , referring my DAD and 'home' being his 'home' country.

Now, I haven't used that term for myself in a long time..I hadn't realised that.I used to in the past..now I just said 'malaysia' not 'home'. What has happened? Do I love malaysia less now? I don't think so. I guess I've been abroad for so long now, I just feel as comfortable here as I am back in Malaysia.So both are 'home' now

Auntie Kamariah was right..she once told me and Ezlin, the longer you stay abroad, the harder it is to go back for good and both me and Ezlin are still abroad.Of course she was talking from her own experience. I keep thinking about her lately, I haven't been in touch with her since I left Aberdeen. Must give her a ring..

Bahasa rojak anak-anak ku..

Aiman's vocab

Baju maker

News khabar

Aliya's

Aliya dah boleh cakap hindi sikit2..dia memang paham hindi pun selama ni sebab baby sitter dia Indian, Fijian Muslim. I let them speak hindi with her sebab pernah tanya speech therapist dulu will it affect her language development, dia kata x pa..

Tadi baby sitter bagi tau, since husband dia cuti (husband dia cuti 3 bulan sebab baru2 ni operation cardiac bypass) Aliya makin byk cakap hindi, tadi Aliya kata kat husband dia "Abu, challo" sambil tarik tangan ajak keluaq..betui ka eja macam ni??

So tadi balik rumah, saja test tarik tangan Aliya sambil kata "aliya, challo" She looked at me, muka heran + terkejut and then she laughed!! Amazing!! How kids can differentiate between different languages, she knows that we speak different language at home and they speak different language there!

Exam...

To my dear darling husband I wish you all the best for your exam tomorrow and on monday. InsyaAllah boleh buat. You've done the hard work, so tawakal and do it. My prayers will always be with you. May success be on your side. Amin

Why the cake is GREEN???

It has never occured to me than Pandan Cake should be any other colour than GREEN, well that is if you're Malaysian I guess. Today was my turn to bring morning tea for our weekly Wednesday Seminar Programme and I decided to bake PANDAN CHIFFON CAKE . I thought, cake is not so alien to mat salleh's tongue, but yet I can subtly introduced the asian flavour of the cake.I baked 2 cakes, but only brought 1 and 1/2, partly because I selfishly want to keep some for me to enjoy at home but actually it was because my lovely Aiman had peeled and eaten 1/2 of the crust from one cake!

Lakshmi, who is malaysian was the 1st person who saw the GREEN cake in the kitchen and she immediately asked if it was my turn to bring morning tea and did I bring pandan cake. So I said yes.I should have realised then since it was that obvious!!

Then when it came to tea time, Amy 1st saw the cake and she had this weird look on her face and she immediately asked why the cake is GREEN, LOL..Then I realised that whilst it is very common for us to have GREEN bingka, ketayap etc..mat sallehs don't really 'do' green cakes LOL..

Then I had to explain about how we traditionally juiced the pandan leaves to add it to our dessert for flavouring hence we get the tinge of colour

Peter, our visiting teacher even asked me,why the crust is brown, not GREEN?? LOL, I don't know, never thought about that!

At least they all love the cake, to Laksmi's disappointment, not even a crumb left! She was eyeing for some leftover to take home..I need to bake more for our playdate this weekend

Sorry, I am too lazy to take new pictures..you just have to make do with pictures from my foodie blog

Feijoas

Feijoa ni sejenis buah yg so far kami hanya jumpa di New Zealand. Sedap...mula2 mai NZ dulu x berapa reti makan, sebab beli dekat pak n Save, x sedap plus x tau nak makan macam mana. Then satu hari ni nurse ward 58 bawak mai satu beg letak kat kitchen, depa yg ajaq makan, terus jatuh cinta he3.. waktu tu baru lagi sampai NZ, back in 2007.Buah ni bentuk n saiz macam teloq ayam, ada yg besaq ada yg kecik, kira macam teloq ayam gred A, B, C la.Buah ni bermusim, time autumn saja ada

Rupa2 nya yg beli x sedap sebab buah ni kena tunggu dia luruh, kita kutip kat atas tanah, yg beli tu dia petik dan peram, tu yg x berapa manis

Cara makan pulak, belah dua macam gambar kat atas tu, then scoop out the soft fleshy middle part, yg tepi2 tu buang, kami pi hentam kopek kulit and makan macam tu saja..patut la x sedap he3..feijoa ni adik beradik jambu, tapi more aromatic..

Aiman and aliya suka sgt...alhamdullilah tahun ni murah rezeki depa, byk sungguh feijoa yg kami dapat..sampai ngilu gigi makan, sebab dia masam2 manis, will defo miss this fruit bila dah balik malaysia nanti..

Maybe this is part of the reason why I am feeling down lately??

Tadi chat dgn Tehsin, kawan kat university dulu, kebetulan dia tegoq kat FB . Before I left Scotland dulu dia baru nak start buat GP training, so dah a few yrs jugak la dia jadi GP.

Tanya dia macam mana, dia suka tak jadi GP, dia kata ok but sometimes it can be a bit lonely..yesss..that is what I am experiencing right now..sekarang ni, apt only 15 mins, mana boleh spend lama2 borak kosong, byk lagi patients dok tunngu kat luar, sekejap sgt, ngam2 untuk sort out the problems ja, no banter

Kat hosp dulu, even busy, there are lots of people to chat too,time clerk in patients, ada gak masa borak2 merapu dgn patients, with nurses..borak2 yg geng2 Dr lain at lunchtime..tapi sekarang, people have their breaks at different times..kalau borak pun..aduhai..cerita pasal news. weekend activities..sekadar berbabasa..that's why we all love our Wednesday Seminars..apart from mmg th teachings are normally good, tu la masa kami catch up sesama sendiri...gossiping etc..

I think I enjoy Anglesea a lot more. So maybe next yr buat half Anglesea half permanent kot?? Tapi Anglesea kira macam locum, only 1/4th of the hr saja kot contributed towards my training hmm..need to find out more about it..

Normally I know if I like my work or not based on how I feel bila bgn pg, kala rasa looking fwd nak pi kerja, ok la..so far..belum rasa macam tu..tapi x la x suka, just not excited..not like when I did Home Hospital or Psych..time tu best, good bunch of nurses and collegue. I like tues and fri sebab my teacher ada, tapi hari dia x dak, macam boring sikit, sebab semua org lain busy with their things

I guess that's why I am turning into FBing and blogging a lot more now..I think I crave the social interactions

Happy Mother's Day..

To all mothers out there esp to my mum and MIL.

To my Dear Husband , thank you very much for the Pandora bead, much much appreciated..tahun depan buat lagi he3..a massage voucher like last time would be even better :) he3..x jumpa la pulak gambar bead tu nak letak kat sini..x larat dah nak cari..da ngantuk..Lepas ni kalau nak beli lagi, get a murano one pulak tau he3...nak bg balance..

Hasil rondaan petang tadi..

Antara benda tak berapa perlu yg diperolehi petang tadi adalah..

Wall decals untuk bilik aliya and aiman. Dah lama aim nak beli, nak hias bilik depa cantik2, nak menarik depa tidoq dalam tu la konon...beli sikit2, mula2 duvet cover. Selalu jumpa decals ni either terlalu mengikut 'theme' atau mahal sgt..malas la nka ikut theme sgt sebab, selalu theme dia either theme untuk 'girl' atau boy..tapi depa dua ni share bilik..susah sikit..

Decals ni beli kat Warehouse, kedai kegemaran masyarakat di sini..sebab barang2 dia murah heheh

Ni bilik depa setelah mummy and daddy gigih dok main pelekat-pelekat, gambaq kelam la pulak, sebab x pakai flash kot..curtain tu pun x matching, nantilah, ada rezeki lebih nanti nak pi cari curtain kaler kuning ka..sekarang ni dah makin sejuk, tu yg ada heater dok menyibuk tgh2 tu, bilik depa kami dah start on heater, our room belum lagi, still ok with just the electric blanket, tapi budak2 ni kesian pulak sebab asek dok keluaq dari duvet saja

Ni aiman punya side..123



Aliya punya side..ABC








Aiman kata tadi.."wow mummy..the wall looks really cool" Dia suka sgt2 la tu..Bila pasang aliya punya pulak, dgn broken englishnya dia kata "Aliya one's is only nice a little bit"

Kami rasa apa yg dia nak kata sebenaqnya adalah " It's nice, but mine is nicer" heheheh

Bila ada masa..

Jadi mati akai x tau nak buat apa pulak dah..

Harini have been awfully quiet for most of us..so my boss yg baik hati sudah kasi balik awal, dia dah mintak receptionist blocked all my appoinments for this afternoon. Yippeee

BUT

since I didn't expect this to happen, jadi mati kutu pulak..The only thing that I could think of is nak pi Pak n Save, do some grocery shopping! How boring! Selalu dok kalut sgt x dak kids free time la bla bla..call incik suami kata nak pi grocery shopping n then amek aliya balik umah..dia plak nak p amek aiman, bawak pi semayang jumaat then balik umah..

Maybe I should go to Miller's? Konon2 nya ada sale sempena mother's day

Mornthong ohh mornthong..

Mornthong ni durian dalam bahasa siam kot, sebab selalu dok beli durian frozen kat packet tu dia tulih frozen mornthong
Tadi bila balik kerja tiba2 teringin nak makan durian, ajak incik suami singgah thai shop, beli la 2 bungkus..sekilo $10.80..

Dah dok oversea ni..mornthong pun mornthong laa sob sob..

Kalau kat malaysia silap la nak pandang durian siam ni..jeling saja..sebab my grandparents ada byk kebun durian..kecik2 memang main bawah pokok durian, manggis etc..siap eksyen lagi, siap boleh pilih2 pokok mana peberet, pokok mana x berkenan, pokok mana isi tebal, pokok mana lemak manis..durian jantung la, tembaga la..semua ada..mana main durian siam, isi x best, texture x best, x wangi etc etc..sangat mengada hokayyy

Ohh sedapnya Durian pokok Kampung Paya (kebun peberet ku!!)


Durian masih dalam peket..

Closed up sikit, x nampak la pulak dia tulih siam mari tu..

Dah masuk pinggan, sedia untuk dinikmati..x la sedap sgt, tapi Alhamdulliah, tuhan masih bg rezeki + appetite untuk nikmati frozen mornthong ni..



La ni jarang2 balik dapat kena musim durian buah kebun, baru2 ni saja dapat rasa buah kebun Kampung Paya, tu pun yg frozen, mak simpan..

Mummy..it's not BEN

Conversation with Aiman waktu dinner tadi...

Mummy: Aiman buat apa at school tadi?

Aiman: Play with my friends

Mummy: Ohh Aiman main dgn sapa? Yash? Sean? (Dua2 ni bestfriends Aiman kat daycare)

Aiman: Yeah..and I play with Ben too

Mummy: Ohh who's Ben? (jarang dgr aiman sebut nama Ben)

Aiman: Mummmmmyyyy it's not BEN, it's BIN

Mummy: ohhh BIN (trying her very best to pronounce it kiwi way..

Aiman: No mummy, BIN is for rubbish, it's BIN >>stressing the kiwi accent there..ntah kat mana yg lain pun x tau la

sampai sudah I cannot pronounce it they way it should be (according to Aiman lahh)

Kalau ikut kiwi accent ni, seven dia sebut sivin, ten depa sebut tin..So Ben bunyi macam Bin, tapi x la bunyi macam bin tong sampah tu..apa yg lain, x tau la pulak

Yay..Aliya's new trike

A Radio Flyer fold 2 go. Baru order tadi from trademe . Trademe ni lebih kurang EBAY, LELONG etc versi NZ

I wanted this one actually..I always like the classic red radio flyer trike and the built quality..and ohh if I can get the wagon, it's even better he3 (sapa yg nak main ni?? nampak sgt mak dia yg beria)

Sebab apa beli? Actually Aliya dah ada trike..yang macam ni..



Looking at the colour and design, off course la trike itam ni a hands me down from Aiman to Aliya kan, murah saja beli dalam $30-40 camtu (yg ni 2nd trike aiman actually, yg 1st tu kan..pada suatu hari yg hening..mummy telah baling ke lantai, mengamuk kat aiman, naik hantu apa ntah waktu tu..terus patah, x sangka benda ni boleh patah, sebab nampak solid..kesian betui tgk aiman waktu tu nak naik x boleh sebab patah dikerjakan mummy yg ganas ni..terus pi beli baru sebab nak tebus rasa bersalah tu..ehh menyimpang jauh pulak cerita trike ni..

Baru2 ni bawak trike itam ni pi umah Janifal, babysitter Aliya, tinggal terus kat sana sebab kesian kat Aliya x dak benda nak main2 bila dia kat sana. Ingatkan sebab dia dah byk ride on toys lain kat rumah, x kisah la.Tapi each time nak balik dari umah Janifal, dia mesti nak naik trike ni bwk balik rumah, ptg tadi sampai x mo balik..agaknya bila abg main bike abg, aliya x boleh nak join kot, selalu abg nak bike, adik akan naik trike..

So singgah la kedai mainan OTW balik umah td, nak usya2 trike radio flyer ni..tapi not instock, dia baru nak tanya supplier berapa harga etc and nak kena order dulu..so malam tadi usyar Trademe, terjumpa yg purple kat atas tu, discuss2 dgn Mr Daddy, decided ambik yg purple tu sebab murah. Org tu wat clearance,last season punya colour..alahh depa bukan tau pun..harga asal $150 kot..jadi $80incl postage..yg merah tu pulak $170..agak mahal la..boleh beli bike betul dah..tu yg Mr Daddy suh amek yg purple tu..frust mummy x dapat beli retro radio flyer yg dah lama di idamkan itu..(sapa yg nak main ni??)


Bagus jugak benda ni kaler purple, Aiman n aliya suka berebut mainan, trike ni dah la kaler purple, siap ada rambu ramba lagi, boleh kata kat aiman, yg ni only for girls hehehhe..x sabar nak tunggu benda alah ni sampai.

Oh dear..

Tgh tunggu my last patient..a hypochondriac

Hypochondriac ni org yg risau excessively about something that doesn't really exist

So kena bnyk sabar + kena explain memacm kat dia.. letih woo..
Last time sejam haku borak ngn makcik ni.baru a few days ago , semalam dia mai lagi, nasib time tu aku dah cabut..aku tuang sekerat hari sebenarnya, tapi x apa, aku beik..aku pi lebri buat kerja tauu..

Tapi makcik..ni hari jumaat la makcik..saya nak balik umah, ambik anak, hantaq anak mengaji, nak masak lagi huhhhhu..tadi pagi boh ribs dalam slow cooker, nak buat bihun sup ala utara la konon..harap2 ok la sup tulang slow cooker aka sup tulang malas itteww

ohh UPDATE - Makcik tu x mai pun..dia baca belog inikah?? atau dia sudah hilang ingatan pulak?

okehla..nak kemas2 nak balik ni..

Happy weekend people..

Esok tatau nak buat apa lagi..incik suami kata dia nak study, mana la mummy nak pi merapu bawak anak dua org tu..ari ahad nak pi tgk helicopter..air ambulance tu..tata

Air Ambulance

Sitting in my favourite spot in the library trying my very best to finish off my Pneumococcal Vaccine vignette, my concentration was disturbed by the sound and sight of the air ambulance. Another air ambulance just arrived, undoubtedly bringing in another emergency patient. The helipad is just accross the libarary, hence I can hear it very clearly. Each time I hear the sound, my heart sank, thinking of the casualties, patients/cases that would occupy the ambulance. Another accident? Another dying baby? Someone in labour with a prem baby? Waikato Hospital's catchment area is very big, so all the urgent cases are normally transported by air ambulance. We also sometimes use the ambulance to tansport urgent cases to other hospital as far as Christchurch Hospital if we don't enough beds/incubator for babies etc..

But aside from that the air ambulance is a big source of entertainment for my son and his friends at their daycare which is also right accross the helipad. The kids will be jumping up and down, excitedly waving at the helicopter, even Aliya who occasionally comes accross the helicopter when she comes to pick up 'aman' loves the helicopter.

They're having an open day on the 2nd of May, from 10-2pm for fundraising and to raise awareness to the local communities. We're hoping to take both Aliya and Aiman there.

Adoila..

Sangat letih la ini malam, tadi lawan badminton, 3 games ja pun, tu pun semua kalah hahahha..xpala..masuk bukan niat nak menang sgt pun, nak exercise + bg ramai team saja, 2 games main ngn asma, women double, satu game main dgn incik hubby, mixed double. Women single x dak sapa pun masuk, semua takut pancit hahha..pompuan yg masuk semua mak2 org, kecuali asma. Org len x minat kot..

Ni tgh dok teman budak berdua ni tidoq, x dak tanda2 nak tidoq pun..siap boleh dok menyanyi lagi..lagu peberet depa la ni..lagu Abba yg Mamma mia tu..sari berkali2 suh ulang lagu tu..

I still have to:

1) Cook dinner for tomorrow, nak masak rebung + dgg masak lemak. Satu lauk sahaja ya.sebab dah ada protein + sayur.Tu pun dah kira hebat la tu. Makan dgn sambal lonte-sambal jawa style, baru belajar dgn k ton semalam..sgt sedap, saya sgt suka!


2) Ptg tadi beli stock dgg kat Clarkin Prime Halal, nak kena asing2, cuci n masuk freezer

3) Baju belum lipat-one load. Alhamdulliah weather weekend ni bagus, semua baju kering. Iron baju adalah sgt jarang sekali.Incik hubby kalau nak pakai baju elok ber iron kena iron sendiri, teruk kan bini dia ni? Bini dia pulak, dok la ulang pakai baju x payah iron hahha..itu pasal sy sgt suka sama tudung awning-balik msia aritu pulun ku beli byk2, tu pun menyesal x beli lg byk..

4) Buat inti for apple pie. Tadi pi umah P Rahman, dia bagi Granny Smith, mmg dah lama teringin nak try buat apple pie ala McD yg K As dok tayang kat belog dia. Kena buat before Thurs, nanti P Rahman mai tgk apple dia dok rupa apple lagi hahhah

??? study..memang x masuk list pun..weekend mmg payah nak study..hmm wait, weekdays pun huhuu..my exam in December..macam mana ni??

Wow..how am I gonna take multitasking to its limit?

Without burning the candles at both ends??


It's only been an hour since I got home from playing badminton, in that space of time, I have

-Hung 2 loads of washing
-Folded one load of washings
-Tidied up the living area + kids toy room
-Tidied up the kitchen
-Semi cooked dinner for tomorrow- only need to celur bihun balik kerja esok
-Blog hopping LOL

Important things that I need to find time for

1)Study of course

2)I want to go to that quilting class sooo badly. My aim is I want to be able to quilt before balik malaysia - Tapi aii ni menjahit pun x reti tauuu!! Perasan nak belajar quilting hahhahaah..Kena tangguh sampai habis exam la nampaknya

3)I need to make some time for regular sports! Need to practice what I preach plus need to lose that excess baggage

4)Weekly Study group with my GPEP friends

5) Plus finding some time for regular social time

6) Anglesea!!

7) Need to complete my audit before August

8) Prepare for the weekly seminars


On top of being at work fulltime , being a wife and a mummy and a student! Haiya..ini macam punya busy pun berat boleh naik ka?? Nampak sgt I am an emotional eater. Maybe I spend too much time eating LOL

Recipe for oral rehydration solution

Ohh boringnya tajuk hari ini..but I thought I'd share this for the benefit of sesapa yg tersinggah kat blog ni..

Hari ni cuti, cuti ganti for the extra shift that I have to do at Anglesea Clinic, so mai la library, nak study la konon..alhamdullilah, not too bad, reasonably productive. Pagi tadi mai library seawal 8 pg, kalau ikut hati nak mai lambat, tapi memandangkan nak mai sekali with incik hubby untuk jimatkan petrol yg $1.96 seliter itewww.., so kena la mai sebelum pukul 8 sebab dia masuk kerja pukul 8

Dan la study seround, then pukul 10 pg pi kuaq minum kopi dgn rina n k hanim, pehtu, balik semula ke library arnd 1pm

Amongst the things that I read today was infective gastroenteritis aka Diarrhoea..

Dalam dok study tu la that I came accross this recipe for oral rehydration solution by WHO (World Health Organization) I guess this recipe is aimed for those in 3rd world country who can't easily get access to medication, but I think it is quite useful for us to know. Very simple

1L of clean drinking water/cool boiled water
8tsp of sugar
1tsp of salt

Just dissolve the salt and sugar in the water and walla..you have your homemade rehydrati0n solution! The only thing is, the 'proper' rehydration solution will replace pottassium as well, but looking at the ingredients I don't think this solution will, but a banana or two (if you can tolerate it) will take care of the pottasium

Don't forget to keep the solution in the fridge!

Reminder to myself..

Weekend ni, sila tengok2:

Dermatomes
Stepwise asthma mx programme
Buat notes pasal hypertensive mx


ETA - Trochanteric bursatis + the anatomy

the list is growing huhuhuhu

Cukup la tu kot..selalu tulis dalam jotter book, tapi beg kerja pun haram x bukak, tau dok bukak blog saja..so baikla tulis dalam blog hahahah

I need therapy

Stress..stress..stress

Aritu lepas easter long weekend rasa macam dah recharged dah..

But now I am back in our usual routine..

I think I need some spark in my life

We bicker a lot lately, about silly things, sapa nak basuh berak la..sapa nak tukaq baju anak etc huhu..both of us have stressful jobs, have exams that we need to study for..kalau la kami x 'kena' amek exam ni semua, x kuasa seh..

Dulu2 time kerja kat hosp,at least we can meet up for lunch..have a nice chat (hi hi jgn terkejut, a lot of our dr couple friends do this, sad kan?? ) but now I am no longer working at the hosp, tunggu balik rumah baru leh sembang2, mana nak tgk anak, masak etc..dah la nak beli pun x boleh


Brain drain..esp after my College visit yesterday

since I am doing a GP training under Royal College of NZ, I was visited by them yest, they sat in my consultations, we had a long discussion etc..

Rasa macam nak pi somewhere nice, tapi malas nak drive jauh2..malas nak pack brg byk2 etc..

Amaaaaaaaa..leep..amaaaaaaaa leep..

Apa tu??

Aiman..sleep -kata si aliya

Sejak pindah umah ni, kami try bg aliya n aiman tidoq asing, selama ni kalau tidak, berempit la kami 4 beranak tdq ataih katil queen yg di cantum dgn katil single, mmg tdq x nyenyak la sebab asek kena himpit dgn depa

sebelum ni, kami cantum2 dua2 katil single tu, sebab aiman x mau dok asing2 dgn adik dia, tapi since last fri, before easter weekend, they keep each other awake, dok bergelak ketawa, berguling gelantang bagai ataih katil tu..

so mummy pun tgh2 malam2 buta tu, geram punya pasai, bg la asing katil depa tu..

dah pulak dok lawan sembang..

si adik yg x reti sebut nama abg, dok kalut suruh abg 'leep', yg dia tu x leep pun

si abng pun jawab la.." I am sleeping"..hahahha...ntah apa2 la..




tapi..masuk ja pukui 3-4 pagi, aliya mesti magkit cari mummy, nak melepas gian, she is still breastfeeding, malam2 3-4 kli jaga, macam ada baby kecik saja..kalau hantaq balik bilik, sanggup dia tdq depan bilik kami, kesian la pulak, la dah nak sejuk dah.. :(

Demi masa..

Manusia itu, sentiasa dalam kerugian..

adoila..sangatla betul!!

I have finished seeing my last patient at 3.40, it has been an hour, nak balik x boleh lagi sebab pg tadi mai dengan encik suami, nak kena tunggu dia mai ambik, selalu mai naik legnum, park kat my place, since I finished early, I will pick up the kids and then pick up encik suami..so x dak la masa melangut macam ni.. tapi pg tadi tgk2 legnum abih batery, sebab semalam aliya tutup pintu x rapat kami x perasan, so lampu terpasang la semalam, sebab dah lewat, malas nak jump start keta, mai la naik chrysler encik suami yg daku x berani bwak sebab tersa sungguh gabak huhu..aritu dah abaq dah kat dia jgn beli keta besaq sebab bini dia gayat nak bawak huhu..

so keta parking kat hosp, ekna tunggu dia abih keja dulu la, baru dia bleh p amek anak2..lepas ni nak singgah mengaji pulak..adeh. lambat la sampai umah macam ni..

so dah ada masa ni, x reti2 ka nak study ka, start buat research ka..ohh no..of course la sy berjalan2 ke blog2, berlari2 anak ke facebook, berlari larian dan berlagha-laghaan ke myresipi, cari idea nak masak apa la konon..padahai dah tau dah nak masak apa ptg ni hmm..

Tanam people to grow more people??

Benda ni jadi a few weeks back, tapi as usual, mummy x dan nak enter lam blog..

Normally lepas sembahyang maghrib, kami ajaq anak2 mengaji, aliya dok belek2 surah yassin, aiman pulak was browsing buku indahnya hidup bersyariat

This book was given to us by my PIL,a very good book IMO, very informative

Dalam buku tu ada tunjuk gambar cara2 menyempurnakan jenazah, aiman dok tanya macam2, so I tried my best to explain the pictures to him, ada tunjuk cara2 mandi mayat, kafan etc

Bila sampai tang nak kebumi, I said la lepas tu kena tanam, belum habis sempat lagi explain pasaipa kena tanam, aiman terus kata, 'to grow more people?'

hmm..sebab kami rajin berkebun, we have a veggie garden, so he knows the concept, tanam sayur, to grow more veggies etc..so he thought, tanam mayat, to grow more people la...

budak2, so innocent...

I highly reccommend the book to average family like us, esp those oversea yg susah nak ke majlis pengisian agama

I am drowning

IN READING MATERIALS..


huhhuuu..people are handing out reading materials right left and centre

I have piles of papers,articles, journals, books etc cluttering my desk..

I don't even have time to file them..

I've chucked away some of the leaflets..can't be good for the planet huh??

Lost of momentum

Adoila..since my last entry yg malas nak study tu..I haven't studied at all!!!!!!!!
So lack of momentum laa..
Rasanya sebab seminggu cuti dok umah jaga aiman and aliya yg kena chicken pox,so I wasn't in the working mode, tu yg rasa I have no drive to study tu..rasa pandai hahahhaha

Kalau pi kerja, dapat patient macam2, ada yg I can solve ada yg dak, so from there barula terserlah my inadequecy, baru la rasanya keperluan untuk study tu

Ni esok I'm going to Sexual Health Clinic,baru nak terhegeh2 bukak buku baca...

Alhamdulillah both kids dah recover from CP. Aiman especially. Dia punya CP x teruk sgt, x teruk lgsg actually.He just had a few spots here and there saja, gatal2 pun sat saja,overal he was unwell for about 24hrs. Tapi yg kesian aliya, baaaaaaaaaaanyakkkkkkkk sgt vesicles dia.She was literally covered with vesicles. She got it EVERYWHERE. In her ears,on her back,trunk,legs,arms,face,neck, between her natal cleft,genital areas.She was unwell for the whole week. She scratches away non stop,poor thing :( And now she has the scabs all over her body and she keeps scratching the scabs :(

Poxy poxy poxy..calamine lotion party

Chicken pox in da house! Both Aiman and Aliya jangkit from Cu, my SIL. Abih la satu Lollipop, daycare Aiman kena nanti, sure depa kata Aiman la yg bawak sebab dia yg 1st kena heheheh

Sure org igt local virus, sebab ada jugak kes kat Hamilton ni, depa x tau VZ ni mai dari Malaysia angkut naik dgn kapai terbang hehehe

Since Aiman sure dah sah2 x leh pi daycare, makanya..esok lusa tulat and maybe tungging jugak, x leh la mummy pi kja..

Alhamdullilah, depa dua OK, cuma gatai2 saja. Tapi nak bg makan phenergan (promethazine) depa x mau, nak ubat pink saja ie paracetamol, even bila mix dgn paracetamol pun depa x mau, phenergan ada after taste sikit rasanya, tapi mummy makan sedap sajaaaaaaaaa heheheh

malam ni x study

adoi la..malas betui nak study malam ni..

tapi pg tadi dah baca on measles, HFMD, croup and acute epiglotitis..aci dak itu saja utk hari ini??

bestnya..

Why?? sebab terjumpa blog JJ, my junior kat SMSTSP dulu..

dah lama dok cari dia, dulu2 ada terjumpa sat dalam friendster, then bila dok active lam FB, da jrg bukak friendster, so macam lost contact balik..dah anak dua dah..still slim macam dulu, jealous betui..yess JJ, allaaa beli jeans lain la hehehehhe

Tapi sebab ter excited sgt dok baca blog JJ tadi, terjadi la satu incident petang tadi huhuhuu..

Pagi tadi I was bored sebab x dak patients, so bagitau la kat John, my practice manager kata nak pi paeds derm clinic,so around 1215 camtu pi hospital, had lunch with incik hubby at momentoes , sekali bila pi derm clinic, pun x ramai patients, byk DNA, apa la nasib..dapat jumpa a few saja..byk borak ngn Dr Yung pasai DSLR saja hehehhe..ntah apa2 , x tercapai matlamat nak see kiddies skin problems

since clinic habis awal, nak tunggu incik hubby balik lambat lagi, pi lepak library sat, blogwalking, blog najwa leading to blog geni and then trejumpa blog JJ. Halfway through, incik hubby call, kata dia lewat sikit sebab dia nak kena pi amek kunci keta la, notes patients for his clinic @ Tauranga tomorrow etc etc..so I thought, ok la dia lambat x pa la..tgh syok baca blog JJ ni..heheh

sedar x sedar jam dah pukul 515, rasa cam pelik saja, awat incik hubby ni lambat sgt, rasa x sedap hati, so keluaq la dari library konon nak pi cari dia, OTW tu, bok kuaq la HP sebab nak call dia, sekali tgk HP ada 12 missed call!!!! X tau la pasaipa dia x bunyi..OTW keluaq selisih ngn incik hubby yg muka sgt la grg..I've never seen him like that actually..

Mintak maap byk2 la suamiku tercinta...jgn marah2 , nanti cepat tua hehehe

Yang peliknya, dalam 15 mins after that, Dr Kumar called, ajak pi dinner umah dia esok, ok pulak dia berbunyi..

erm..ni satu lagi, nak pi dinner umah dia esok nak bawak apa ni?

dia ni, bagus sikit, vegetarian, eat healthily..selalu nak senang beli chocolate saja..

2 years ago..

On 080308 @ 0026 @ Waterford Birth Centre, Hamilton, my little Aliya was born. The memories are still fresh in my mind like it was yesterday...

Will type it one day when I have the time..

My new routine..

It's been 2 weeks since I started the GP training scheme..I am overwhelm..

Trying to juggle everything is not easy. Study, family,work kids, kerja rumah, husband..huhuuhuu...I am not a superwoman..

I have the responsibility to

my kids for I want to be a good loving mother
my husband for I want to be a good, loving and supportive wife
my patients as they deserve the very best from me
my parents
my religion

Ya Allah ya tuhanku, kau berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk ku melalui saat2 ini..hanya padamu aku memohon

My dear Aiman and Aliya, mummy is soo sorry that our time is so limited nowadays and I am always occupied with other things, insyaAllah it will get better..hang in there little darlings

Tajuk campur-campur

Hahahhaha..apa la punya tajuk entry..

mau daknya, macam2 nak cerita tapi updatenya jarang2..macam ni la jadinya..

Lama x update sebab baru2 ni balik malaysia, from 28/1 to 19/2 (lebih kurang camtu la date dia, malas nak check heheh

Balik malaysia kali ni dugaan betul, sebab panassssssssss!!!!!!!!!!! Mmg x tahan sgt2, org yg dok msia pun x tahan, lagi2 la kami ni..activity?? x byk sgt sebab my hubby x balik..so macam takdak mood sgt nak berjalan2, hmm x best nak jalan2 sebab hubby x dak actually hehehhe...Balik pun main reason sebab nak settle hal IPPT, Alhamdullillah dah settle

tapi kan..balik kali ni..dapat hasil yg besar, which I am quite happy about..tapi, sebab menda ni la jugak, terjadinya family crisis huhuhuh...

since kami balik nanti nak dok bertam, and lepas ni lambat lagi nak balik, so saja la pi jalan2 area situ..tetiba org bertam properties kata ada satu banglo kosong, org x lepas loan. so after pi tgk semua, ok la berkenan la jugak. Actually I don't like the lay out, tapi location best plus tanah dia luas 8000+ sq feet, dekat sgt dgn IPPT, so kelam kabut la nak try settle loan etc..

tup2, dalam tgh dok urus loan, Tini, my SIL kata ada tanah lot kawan dia beli dekat Paya Keladi, x jauh dari situ. Ada kosong lagi 2 lot, I was sceptical la jugak, sebab igt jauh, sebab sebelum ni dah pi usyar dah tanah2 lot, semua jauh2, or stand alone tanah lot..yg ni x minat sgt..kalau boleh nak macam kampung tersusun..

Tini bawak balik plan tanah tu, ptg tu jugak depa bawak pi tgk...hmmmmm..only 6km from IPPT!! Yg bestnya, siap lalu sekolah (potential for aiman and aliya) and lalu banglo bertam properties tu jugak..kiranya, tanah tu 6km dr IPPT, banglo tu pulak 3 km dari IPPT

Dahh pening kepala x tau nak decide...makanya tuan blog pun buat la sembahyang istikharah dan jugak sembahyang hajat mintak petunjuk..in any big decision that I have to make I rarely pray that I 'will' get whatever I want, my doa will always be that I ask for Allah to grant my wish if that is the best for me/us. If not, redha la yg itu bukan yg terbaik for me/us. I think malam tu mimpi nampak tanah tu.. rasanya lah kan...I never got any petunjuk on my istikharah before...

Nak di jadikan cerita, tanah lot tu tinggal 2 ja yg kosong, dan bukan lot bersebelahan. I want to buy 2 lots. Nasib baik la sebelah lot yg kosong tu, kawan tini yg beli, dan dia telah bermurah hati sanggup tukar pi lot satu lagi so that I can buy 2 lot yg sebelah menyebelah tu..


alhamdullilah..sekarang ni dalam proses nak tukar nama etc..my mum is helping me to sort out everything...

Harapnya..it is meant to be la, takut jugak since my husband x balik, dia hanya agree based on my descriptions + pictures saja la...

On a different note..

my sil yg baru habis SPM came with us haritu..dia dok sini 2 minggu, tadi baru p hantaq dia balik. she is very good with the kids. Tadi pi hantaq dia balik airport, kesian kat aiman, I ahve been preparaing him that cu dah nak balik malaysia since a few days ago, tapi tadi bila balik dari airport tgk cu betui2 takdak lagi kat umah ni, he cried!!! Sedih tgk dia..byk kali dia ulang2 tanya mana cu, can we ask cu to come back and stay with us?? Esok pg dia nak call msia cakap dgn cu suh mai sini...hmmmm kalau la malaysia tu dekat, boleh la sayang..kesian anak mummy, sob sob...

Aliya is still to small to understand....

hmm sure byk typo ni..malas nak check..

ada benda censored lagi nak cerita, tapi demi menjaga keharmonian sejagat..I'll keep it to myself lah..

Generalist

I am $205 poorer but I am now the proud owner of the above textbook and its companion handbook. As I was browsing the VERY thick book, I wished I had known about the book sooner. Very concise..

Tak tau la macam mana boleh ter 'apply' nak masuk GP training program ni...I am looking forward to it but at the same time takut sebab, baaaaaaaanyaknya nak kena tahu..not necessarily in details..sikit2 la..more or less macam final exam med school dulu la....dah la nak curi2 masa nak baca buku tu punya la susah..

Oh anak2 ku...jangan bg mummy and daddy tension sgt ya this year..we both ada exam huhuhuhuhuhuu.....

Everyone is dieting

Huwaaaaaa.. rasa macam semua org tgh berdiet dekarang ni..(apart from me!!)

Dengan 99THN nya,nurses on my ward pun sibuk dok berdiet (new yr resolution heheheh)

I love my food! But I need to lose a few kgs, well 7 to be exact huhuhuh..

Camni ni??

nak balik msia pulak next week..

I can't do dieting, I have to increase my activity instead..nak exercise pun x berapa rajin, well sibukk laaaaaa..bila ada masa, rasa nak rest la kan..

Awat lama x update??

Last night my dear DH tanya awat lama x update??

Hmm mmg lama pun, I read other people's blog everynight, tapi dah lama x update mine

Selalu update time pagi2 sementara nak tunggu masuk kja

Tapi since christmas haritu..library bukak 8.30am, time tu dah nak masuk kerja

Waktu kerja pulak, takkan nak update blog with lost of people overlooking on my shoulder. Ward 34 punya staff room punya la busy with lots of people around. Our Hamilton Huntly Doctors Room x dak PC, leceh betul..team, lain semua ada..ni gara2 our cons amek pc bawak masuk bilik dia la..sebab he's a new cons kot, belum dapat his own pc

Lagi satu, Dr Kumar ni macam pulun sikit....so malas nak mai lambat, every morning ada MDT

A lot has happened since my last entry..dah buat house warming, we went strawberry picking, blueberry picking, pergi hobbiton tempat shooting LOTR, pi beach, malaysian picnic at the lake..macam2 lagi laa..

I am going back to malaysia in 2 weeks time. Last min, x plan pun, tiket baru beli minggu lepas..melayang 4 ribu huuuhuhuh..Lepas ni lambat lagi kot baru balik..
Going on my own with the kids..not sure if I am looking forward to that or not!!